You water signs are nothing if not totally yourselves. You get into the most trouble when you try to conform to other people’s expectations, simply because you’re fluid enough to effortlessly flow into the molds they’ve created for you—temporarily. That same dynamism, however, makes staying within the lines your parents, friends and lovers have drawn practically impossible. Resist assuming the shape or (especially) adopting the timetable someone wants you to take on, because it’ll just lead to confusion, disappointment and strife when you seep, evaporate or expand beyond its borders. Tell them you’re a precocious late bloomer and you need to approach tasks (especially ones this personal) in your own way and time. Be clear: They can accept that, or get out of your way.
LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22)
Consider this week your early birthday present. With Mercury and Venus snogging in your sign, you’ll attract loads of loving attention, of varying types and intensities, without even trying. It’s not that your actual birthday season will be drab and tedious by comparison; it just might not be quite this special (due to circumstances more than people). So enjoy this time while it lasts. Above all, please don’t play the pleasure-deferring games you can sometimes get mixed up in, because at least some of the current pleasantness is definitely of the now-or-never variety. Grab it, or give it up.
VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22)
Bees communicate by dancing, and so should Virgos. You talk too much, you think too much, you do too much. I’m not foolhardy enough to advise you to actually chill out and lay around; you’d never do it, unless someone huge (and not ticklish) sat on you and made you do it. I get it. You’ve got too much energy to burn. But give your brain a break, okay? My advice for this week is so simple it’s ridiculous: dance. Dance until your arches fall, your clothes are soaked, and you can’t stop smiling. Doesn’t matter where or how or with whom. Just do it. I guarantee you’ll have a better idea, when you’re finished, of exactly where the honey is.
LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22)
Some complain that Librans lack stick-to-it-iveness. It’s not that you don’t have the strength or discipline to see something through to its end; it’s that you sometimes don’t care enough to bother. That’s not necessarily a critique; you move on well, and usually for good reasons and to better things. But occasionally you need to stand your ground and stick something out, even if it’s unpleasant, or you’re lured by (supposedly) better things, or even if you believe the venture is doomed. Plant your heels, please. Ignore the carrots and sticks goading you toward new territory. Right here’s where you’re supposed to be, so stay.
SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21)
You wear intensity like a mink coat on a sultry midsummer afternoon. You wish you could step out of it sometimes, I know, but it’s no use trying; there are just more layers of fur coats under there. The heat, in any case, isn’t external. It’s coming from within, and there’s no off switch. Also, for good or ill, you’re not the only one feeling the burn. You’re just the only one who can’t decide whether or not you want to sweat it out. Whether you desire company in this emotional sauna is your decision. If you do, however, now’s the time to sweeten the deal—start buying ice cream and air conditioners like there’s no tomorrow, and whoever you want to stick around might do just that.
SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21)
Cut up your metaphorical credit cards. Living in perpetual material debt is one thing, especially because you’ve mostly accumulated it acquiring experiences, not possessions. But spiritual debt is another story, and it’s definitely not healthy to let it build up or stick around long. Before you know it, it’ll be holding you back on so many levels it won’t matter where you go, how much money you spend, or even who you screw. Scary, right? You know what you need to do. Make things right. Remember—this isn’t the kind of debt you simply pay off. It’s the kind of debt you transcend.
CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19)
Your ruling planet, Saturn, will soon finish crawling out of the watery realm of Cancer into the fiery domain of Leo. The shift will make your life easier and more comfortable in many ways, but that’s not necessarily a good thing. I’m not sure; you may still need the extra goad provided by that Cancer energy to force you to let your feelings show, and go out of your way to express them. Have you truly changed your emotional habits? Unfortunately, most of those involved are unwilling to give you the benefit of the doubt in this arena. This week, humor us: prove it.
AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18)
Some things should stay in the realm of fantasy. Living in a gingerbread house or coating your lover in hot fudge; these are actually more likely to be gross than appealing. Many of your other sexual and emotional desires are equally unappetizing when removed from the fuzzy confines of your imagination. In there, it’s easy to edit certain details out, fast forward through slow or clumsy sections, and linger on the good stuff. Unless you’re on exactly the right drugs, reality doesn’t usually work that way, though. Remember that this week, when the opportunity to actualize a fantasy of yours manifests. Will it translate, or deteriorate? Might it keep better in your head, where you can savor it for years?
PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20)
Sometimes you want a dog collar to wear, and someone to hold the leash. It’s not because you’re especially kinky (although you are, admit it). You just often long for someone to take care of you, to absolve you of all responsibility. If you’re unlucky enough to be exceptionally good-looking or talented, someone might actually play this role for you—until you’re about 25, at which point they’d probably leave you high and dry with virtually no real-life coping skills and hardly any actual friends. Resist donning the collar this week, or ever again (except for an occasional evening’s bedroom experiment). It’s a harsh truth, but it’s better you accept (and cope with) it sooner, rather than later: you might have allies in this life, but mostly, you’re on your own.
ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19)
Stock your freezer with bags and bags of frozen peas. You’ll need them for all the bruises, black eyes and assorted other injuries you’re sure to acquire this month. And that’s good news. Remember, collecting minor wounds is apparently what passes for fun in your world lately, filled with rough and tumble sports, crazy-ass sex, and juvenile horseplay. You can take it. In fact, it’s downright good for you. Considering who you are and what you’re capable of, if you’re not playing rough enough to hurt yourself (just a little) right now, you’re not really living your life.
TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20)
Be careful whose fingernails you let scrape across your skin this week. There’s only so many scratches you can blame on the cat, and when the marks run across your back even that excuse doesn’t fly. I hear you telling me: “But I’m not breaking any rules.” Maybe not technically, but I’m guessing there are a few unwritten rules whose lines you’re crossing. Maybe it’s time you expanded beyond those boundaries—it could be that they’re just too limiting. But don’t you think it’d be better to do it on the up-and-up, with everyone’s knowledge (and perhaps, if you’re lucky, blessing)?
GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20)
You’re goofy, quirky, friendly, unique, eminently likable, creative, funny, talkative…and the list of your positive qualities truly goes on and on. But sometimes people—partially because of the above—have trouble taking you seriously. This can extend to imagining a serious relationship with you, or just trusting you with their innermost feelings, or similarly intimate things. Of course, you and I both know you’re up for this kind of heavier stuff as well. It’s not even that those denying you think you’re unworthy. They simply assume you’re uninterested. They’re wrong, of course, but how to show it? Figuring out that dilemma is—you guessed it—this week’s assignment.