This one’s to the burp who stole my 12 year-old son’s skateboard from under the lifeguard stand at Flemings Beach a few Fridays ago. Do you know the kids saw you walking away with it but they were in the water and couldn’t get out in time? We don’t have much money so my son works for his money—you know, a job? That’s spelled J-O-B, in case you’re not familiar with it. A job is a place that you go to earn money, which you can then use to buy the things you want. See, then you don’t have to steal them. Anyway, since my son has a job, he’ll earn some more money and use it to buy another board. Aren’t you the COOLEST! You must feel so awesome but you probably won’t read this because your type is too busy smoking crack.