This goes out to the cheesy loser who stole my 16-year-old son’s surfboard. He left it unattended for the whole of 10 minutes, which is when you swooped in and grabbed it. Now a lot of people always say that stealing gives you bad karma and what goes around comes around, but with you, I doubt it. You’re probably having a blast right now on his board. Though I must say that the thought of you becoming shark bait does have its bright side.