The psycho ex-girlfriend routine has got to stop! We are not together! We have not been together for a very long time! That means you should stop telling all your friends that I’m your boyfriend. And please stop dropping by my house, trying to buy me back with gifts and trying to make out with my friends when I reject your advances. Do you really think gossiping about me to my best friends is going to win me back? I used to think we could be friends, but now I just think you are way too mean-spirited, bad-tempered, bitchy and vindictive, and I think other people are finally starting to see it, too. Until now, I had never called you names, said bad things about you, or wanted anything other than for you to be happy and move on with your life. But now, I don’t care anymore.