This goes out to the underage girl who stole my laptop during my birthday party. Not only were you not invited since you are a minor and I’ve never met you before in my life, but you took the freedom to enter my bedroom—that the door was marked with the words “no entry please” should have tipped you off that this wasn’t right—and stole some expensive beauty supplies and my laptop. You didn’t waste any time deleting very important work files from my computer and gracing the set-up with your name. You must’ve taken advantage of the brutal riot that took place in front of my house, initiated by people I had never seen in my life before. It must have felt good to get such a unique opportunity and walk out with my stuff while I was busy calling the police and picking up the pieces of my trashed home. Luckily for me you are known as a thief and I will catch you with the cooperation of your very helpful (and devastated) parents. What has the world done to you that’s left you without any morals at such a young age?