Lately, it seems busty blondes or a shirtless Taylor Lautner are the only fail-proof ways to pop out a box-office hit. However, back in the day, as anyone who’s ever seen “Shakespeare in Love” would know, a yappy dog and a clown was the go-to equation for a crowd-pleaser. Well, “Sylvia,” to be performed this month by B.E.T. (Bare Essential Theater), involves both a dog named Sylvia, and the principal of my old high school. Sounds like a recipe for success to me. The script is about a middle-aged man in New York who brings home a dog, which his wife disapproves of. Their compromise is that the dog can stay for a few days while they decide if they are going to keep her or not. I am envisioning jealous-wife tantrums, a grown woman acting like a dog, my principal with some witty one-liners, and hopefully lots of good laughs. The play will be starring Lisa Teichner, Lou Young, Ute Finch, and Kathy Collins. Your only chance to see it is at 6:30 pm, January 11th, at the Historic Iao Theater. And the best part, it’s absolutely free! Visit the MauiOnstage Website or call at 244-2680 for more information, or if you are beginning to think that you too have an untapped theatrical talent, and would like to participate in the next production. Also check out my calendar listing for this event at the Maui Time website!