To be honest, I’ve always been disappointed with our letters to the editor. Not nearly enough of them come in, and too often those that do are courteous, informed and, yes, complimentary. But every so often, we get some real vicious responses, where the acid and fury at our screw-ups—both real and imagined—just drips off the page. Here are some excerpts from the best of those letters, reprinted here because it’s always fun to see people rip us apart:
I was very disappointed to see the feature in two issues of This Week’s Picks entitled “Tired of the Same Ole?” (Dec. 14 issue) and the follow up the next week entitled, “This Week in… Staying In!” (Dec. 21 issue) in which Heidi King, the Calendar Editor, basically said there is not much worth going out for in Maui!… Her tone was sarcastic and demeaning, and the articles should have been grounds for firing instead of being published… Please think about your practices. I will revoke my advertising until changes are made… I am appalled at your misspelling of a word on the cover of your Dec. 21 issue. The cover! How could such an immense typo, perhaps evidence of your disdain for the English language, have passed approval through not only you but your entire team of editorial minions?… I guess political context outside of Maui isn’t relevant to you guys there… I am disappointed in this week’s article (Holoholo Girl, Jan. 18, 2007). I know the girls on the [Maui Fever] show and I think they are getting enough shit about it that you don’t need to print a hurtful piece because you may have had nothing else to write about… I would now like to clarify my position on sexuality and religion—which when read out of context in the article due to space limitations—perhaps may have been understandably offensive to some Maui Time readers… I genuinely regret if any readers were inadvertently affronted by any of my printed statements taken out of context and sincerely assure everyone that no offense was intended… Just finished reading your article entitled “Spoiled by Spago” (Apr. 5, 2007). They had to know you were coming and who you were. We have been to Spago four times in the past years and never have had a good experience at said establishment… When I saw the cover of the April 12, 2007 weekly, I was looking forward to an article that would complement the wonderful photo of the Dalai Lama you presented. Instead, I found the writings of Liliana Begley to be in direct contrast to the compassionate and loving nature of the Dalai Lama, whose writings and presence in our modern day world have influenced so many (“An Unenlightened Person’s Guide to the Dalai Lama”)… [It] was shocking, disrespectful and seemed to reflect a writer trying to be hip [by] using words such as “yeah” and [the] language of kids strolling the mall… I sincerely hope that the author makes her way through the throngs of people gathering to witness and experience the power and magnificence the Dalai Lama brings to Maui… I love your magazine but your “Best of Maui” is a joke… Also, the offhand comment about families” is interesting if not entirely accurate unless you count single parent households as a family and these days there is increasing resistance to that. Male humpbacks come to Maui for the same reason that single male humans often come to Maui, to get laid without retaining any responsibility for any resulting offspring… So what’s the deal with you guys bashing the Hotel Hana-Maui one week and then gushing over their restaurant the next (“For the Love of Pumpkin,” May 17, 2007)? Forgive me, but that looked a little odd… Somehow, it seems, Anthony Pignataro has missed the obvious in his piece, “Water for HC&S” (The Maui 10, June 21, 2007)… I read your news every now and then to see what is going on in the little island of Maui. To be perfectly honest, I think your points, however, are a bit biased… It’s too bad you can’t hire someone that knows what their [sic] doing inputting information. What happened to proofreading???… I will try not to be rude, for that is not my purpose here, but I must admit that it is somewhat nauseatingly unprofessional, when the very job you and others in your organization get paid to do is simply not getting done… [I]n my opinion, it is time for you guys to lay off the weed a bit while at work, and even if you don’t, at least double-check your facts and spelling before going to print… I find it extremely ironic that in a piece where author Anthony Pignataro questions Maui News author Harry Eagar’s journalistic integrity (“The Advocate,” Aug. 9, 2007), he makes several glaring omissions and does quite a bit of selective reporting himself… I have to say, I was very disappointed with the Restless Native column (“Nothing but a Hoochie, Mama,” Aug. 9, 2007). I thought “Eh Brah” was reserved for trash talking. I really hope that this was just an issue that irritated her and she needed to get it off of her chest, because I really don’t care to read her column every week if she’s just going to be talking crap about people (and she wasn’t even funny about it)… I was extremely insulted by your Aug. 23, 2007 issue’s Eh Brah… Who the heck hired this new girl for the Holoholo Girl’s column? I want to hear about parties and interesting people and sexual trysts and adventures. I don’t want to hear a freakin’ play-by-play about kids and husband! Who the hell cares? Give me drama so that I don’t feel like my life is so boring… With that in mind, it seems that it is your myopic perspective which needs to be examined rather than cultural dances of Tahiti and the Cook Islands… Just writing a shout out to Restless Native. Although, I did at times find Holoholo Girl mildly amusing, mostly it was a pathetic waste of a public platform. Thank you for using your precious freedom of press to write about something other than booze, boys and bars… If you are going to write a lead story in the first person you really should insure there is a byline… Anthony: Please accept my apologies. I am the Naïve One. I mistook you for a journalist when you’re really a Whore. How embarrassing!… Is Maui Time really going to replace [Holoholo Girl] with the depressing mid-life complaints of a self-described workaholic?… By the way, the formula of adding nonsensical trivia in italics at the end does not make the articles, or the author, any funnier to read… Yes, I too can criticize the sometimes obvious errors made in your publication but I notice that for the most part, you have the balls to print the letters coming in that criticize you. MTW
Maui Time welcomes letters commenting on our coverage, but only if they’re complimentary. If you still wish to complain about something, please have the decency to use plenty of bad punctuation and grammar—that makes it easier for us to make fun of you when we respond. We also reserve the right to edit your letters. Send your letters to the editor via e-mail (firstname.lastname@example.org), regular mail (Letters to the Editor, Maui Time Weekly, 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793-1742) or fax (808-244-0446). All correspondence must include your full name, hometown and phone number.