Tis the season, and I’ve been trying to focus on the things that I have to be thankful for, besides the obvious like pretty good health, a somewhat sane family and a size zero ass. So here, in no particular order, is an incomplete list* of the things I’m thankful for at this particular moment in time:
1) Bosses that get the whole runny-nose, fever, daycare-holiday, temper tantrum calling in sick thing.
2) An editor who makes me sound more intelligent than I am.
3) Chance encounters with interesting and deep people. Like that guy with the puppies I met in the graveyard that one time.
4) My husband, who thinks my psychotic episodes are endearing.
5) That my daughter is not a girly-girl.
6) Digital cameras.
7) That I no longer write part-time and waitress full-time.
8) My house, which is home to few insects and no rodents.
9) My car, which seats eight, has cold AC and is fully insured.
10) Memories of a wild past.
11) That my wild past is just a memory.
12) That my dad is secretly still my hero.
13) Body piercers.
14) Tweezers, razors and other forms of hair removal.
15) That my kids haven’t picked up any of my filthy language.
16) That my fallopian tubes are cut, tied and burned.
17) Hot doctors.
18) Susie Saito and Lori Watt. BFF’s forever.
19) That I can watch some cable TV shows on the Internet.
20) That books are the only thing I like to shop for.
21) That my daughter has a deep, husky voice even when she whines.
22) All the late-night talks with my late-father in law over canned beer and Winstons.
23) That I’m resilient and pigheaded, yet know how to pretend to be humble.
24) That after 10 years of crappy credit and delinquent bills, I’m finally paid up and in the clear.
25) That my son chooses to wear pretty headbands only at home.
26) That Santa still fills up my stocking at my parent’s house. How does he do that?
*This list is subject to change without notification. Author is not liable for anything that she did or did not list in this column.
Starr Begley took three and a half years of Japanese in school and came out knowing one sentence: Watashi wa umi e ikitaidesu. Which translated means: I want to go to the beach. MTW