Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) There’ll be no deus ex machina here. You won’t find a magic talisman that’ll save your ass. Nor will anyone swoop in to rescue you; in fact, those around you who might be in a position to help are more likely to kick you while you’re down. You’ve got many distant well-wishers at the moment, but no proximate helping hands. You’re on your own. … [Read more...] about Sign Language: Libras need to just shrug off their failures and move on
Zodiac
Sign Language: Geminis are spiritual cyborgs
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) We’re used to rooting for David, not Goliath. We identify more easily with the underdog, which is why you’re probably a bit bewildered to find yourself in a position of power this week. Yep, you’re the giant. That doesn’t mean you’re obligated to begin stomping houses and eating children until the terrified villagers appease you with virgin … [Read more...] about Sign Language: Geminis are spiritual cyborgs
Sign Language: This weekend Pisces gets to indulge in unrealistic romance
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) If you were a door-to-door salesperson this week, you’d make a bloody fortune. You can talk anyone into anything right now. Go ahead and convince the bartender to give you free drinks, or your boss to give everyone an extra-long lunch hour. But when it comes to changing someone’s mind about anything that’s important, be sure that the consequences … [Read more...] about Sign Language: This weekend Pisces gets to indulge in unrealistic romance
Sign Language: Scorpios picked a bad week to start cheating on their spouses
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) Your fantasy world is about to intersect your real life. Sadly, I don’t mean that Benedict Cumberbatch or Jennifer Lawrence plans on visiting your bedroom this evening. Actually, it’s a bit more negative than that, as whoever you’re screwing is likely to uncover one of your deepest darkest sexual or romantic secrets. This could lead to some … [Read more...] about Sign Language: Scorpios picked a bad week to start cheating on their spouses
Sign Language: Cancers need to stop picking at that scab already
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) Just because you get your kicks from pornographic playing cards, pranks, and dirty jokes doesn’t mean you’re immature. You’ve simply never forgotten how to play. Sadly, there are a few assholes prepared to sorely underestimate you, because they don’t get it. Usually, you’d just say, “Screw ‘em,” and leaves these clenched and joyless folk to their own … [Read more...] about Sign Language: Cancers need to stop picking at that scab already