Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) I dreamt in you transformed into a polar bear who hunted seals with gleeful and effective violence. I took it to mean that you’ve recently grown enough snowy white emotional insulation that you can now brave icy and dangerous situations with impunity. Not only that, but you’ve grown to such massive size and ferocity that you’re now the biggest, baddest … [Read more...] about Your Horoscope
Mauitime Vault
Eh Rude Ultrasound Tech
To the young ultrasound technician: I think you should get your pulse checked. When a pregnant woman who is lying on your table has questions about the procedures you are performing on her body, you should learn how to answer her. She has every right to know what’s going on, every step of the way during her visit with you. Instead, you just sat there with your gum-smacking, … [Read more...] about Eh Rude Ultrasound Tech
Your Horoscope
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) Women with female support during the birth process require less pain relief, are less likely to have forceps deliveries or cesareans than those who lack the encouragement and assistance of other women. This makes perfect sense to me. What’s some guy going to be able to say or do more credibly or supportively than a mother who’s been through it? You may … [Read more...] about Your Horoscope
Eh Gas Station Line Cutter
This goes out to the jerk who cut in line at Costco gas station. You cut off five people who were waiting for gas. You just drove up to the front pump as that person left, as though no one else was in line. I was next in line and would have drove around the car in front of me in my 4x4 truck and backed into that spot, but you–in your Porsche convertible–just thought you’d cut … [Read more...] about Eh Gas Station Line Cutter
Your Horoscope
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) All your old hiding places are in imminent danger of discovery. It’s time to remove your lockbox, diary, or family jewels from their usual secret nooks and conceal them someplace new. You can thank me later for this timely warning, because now when your indictors whip open your closet doors hoping to triumphantly expose any lurking skeletons, they’ll … [Read more...] about Your Horoscope