Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) You’re in a game of dodge ball I wish you’d lose. You’ve been playing for a couple years now, and you’ve gotten so wily and agile that I despair that you’ll never encounter a player good enough to knock you on your ass and give you what you so desperately need. On the one hand, when you finally do get a stinging slap in the face from an … [Read more...] about Your Horoscope
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Your Horoscope
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) More than any other, your species has been painstakingly dissected and analyzed. I’m sure you poor Scorpios are sick of being studied so closely; these microscopic inquiries into your character are as annoying as they are invasive. You’ve done admirably well at preventing yourself from stinging those who seek to scrutinize the inscrutable, but enough … [Read more...] about Your Horoscope
Your Horoscope
Gemini (May 21-June 20) For a sign that’s often noted for your mind, you Gems are hardly divorced from your bodies. It seems that every Gemini I know has at least one astonishing physical feat at their disposal; “Janice” can fit her whole hand in her mouth, “Lee” does stunts with ping pong balls and orifices that would make porn stars blush, and “Alister” can squeeze his whole … [Read more...] about Your Horoscope
Eh People Crowding Us On The Beach
Have you ever heard of personal space? My husband, son and I were down the street from our house watching the sunset. We were the first to arrive, so we grabbed a prime spot in a little nook. Little by little, others joined us on this large, vacant beach. Then you two–clearly a tourist couple–arrived and sat right behind me. After spreading your legs out toward my head, you … [Read more...] about Eh People Crowding Us On The Beach
Your Horoscope
Taurus (April 20-May 20) Elitism may be your downfall. Your unwillingness to stand beside the unwashed masses makes you an easy target. While your mild snobbery is probably perfectly justified, it’s dangerous. There’s a difference between carefully choosing friends, and passing judgment based on some preconceived frivolity, like appearance or heritage. Your current project, by … [Read more...] about Your Horoscope