BUT HE STARTED IT! Tennis instructor Osmailer Torres, 30, of Miami, was arrested in July 2016 after hitting a five-year-old with the child’s pint-sized tennis racket and causing a bruise on the boy’s arm and a lump on his eyebrow, reports the Miami Herald. But now Torres believes he has a grand-slam defense: Florida’s Stand Your Ground self-defense law. Defense lawyer Eduardo … [Read more...] about NOTW: Tennis crimes, fake Tasmanian Devil attacks and overtime-enforcing drones
By the Editors at Andrews McMeel ECLIPSING WEIRD A California man with European heritage “strong and pure” placed an ad on Craigslist in advance of the solar eclipse on Aug. 21, seeking a “worthy female” to have sex with him in Oregon and “conceive a child that will be on the next level of human evolution.” “Everything will be aligned in the local universe. Both of our cosmic … [Read more...] about NOTW: Smell testers, insect burgers and gruesome nail gun accidents
WHO’S A GOOD BOY? Life is good now for British men who “identify” as dogs and puppies, as evidenced by a BBC documentary (Secret Life of the Human Pups) showing men in body outfits (one a Lycra-suited Dalmatian, “Spot”), exhibiting “sexual” expressions (stomach-rubbing, ear-tickling and nuzzling their “handlers”), eating out of bowls, gnawing on chew toys, wearing collars (so … [Read more...] about NOTW: Dwarf cows, manboob models and guys who want to be dogs
NEWEST FASHIONISTAS In January, the upscale Italian fashion house Dolce & Gabbana introduced stylish hijabs and abayas aimed at Muslim women unafraid to call attention to themselves as they exercise their obliged modesty. D&G's marketing effort even accessorized models' headscarves and cloaks with stilettos and oversized, gaudily framed sunglasses. It was clear from … [Read more...] about NOTW: New fashionistas, thieving cops and really stupid crooks
Eh Brah! Why are you sellin' kava for $8 a pound on Craigslist? you take people's money and then send 'um over to the garden in Hali`imaile to dig 'um. Only the place you send 'um isn't yours! You stealin'! Sure, you're clever 'cause you're long gone by then and the buyers are the ones that get caught. But you're not so smart 'cause the kava you sold for $140 was actually worth … [Read more...] about Eh Kava Thief In Haliimaile!