Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) Every Virgo has to, at some point in his or her life, develop a high degree of independence, for the simple reason that no one can really keep up with you. Certain people might be able to keep pace for short stretches, but no one else has your intensity or energy […]
Sign Language: The odds may be against you, Libra, but…
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) Despite all the ways we have to filter it out, advertising is so pervasive that it invades our consciousness anyway. In fact, like an antibiotic-resistant virus, much of it has become more insidious, and harder to detect and defend against. How much of your perspective is twisted by the influences you […]
Sign Language: Get your ass up, Virgo!
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) Don’t be such a wimp! You’re like someone who goes snowboarding for the first time, then wakes up sore the next day and decides, “This is not for me.” Of course things will hurt when you’re trying something new. This is the equivalent of exercising muscles you’ve rarely used before. I […]
Sign Language: Meanwhile, in other forecasts…
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) What you’re up to now is like turning up the air-conditioning so high you need to wear a sweater indoors. You’re overcompensating, and it’ll probably backfire on you. Keep the air-conditioning at fifty degrees and you’ll likely catch a chill. Why are you trying so hard anyway? Is whatever you’re trying […]
Sign Language: Watch out for the sucker punch this week…
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) You’re you without apology, and you wouldn’t really have it any other way. However, that does occasionally lead to some tough situations where you have to face the fact that some people just can’t stand you. Stick to your guns anyway, even in the face of what may turn into open […]
Sign Language: Suck it up and move on, Virgo
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) Talk about barking up the wrong tree. Persistence won’t help you here; it doesn’t matter how determined you are if you’re looking in the wrong place. You’ll never find what you seek there. You may have to face the possibility that what you want just isn’t out there and available to […]
Sign Language: Shake up and break things, Sagittarius
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) Thinking outside of the box is all well and good, and I encourage it in general, but sometimes the inside-the-box solution is perfectly viable, and a lot more convenient. Going out of your way to come up with an unconventional answer to a conventional question can be great fun, but in […]
Sign Language: Time to deliver some cruel compassion, Scorpio
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) Although you have your introspective moments, you’re mostly a social creature. Luckily, everyone wants a piece of you this week, and by all means you should try to give it to them. Visit with everyone. Cram your schedule with pleasurable social activities and try to dole out quality time liberally. It’s […]
Sign Language: Time to get those royalties, Leo
Cancer (June 21-July 22) Chances are you are much the same person you were ten years ago. However, I do hope that your strong sense of self – both a blessing and a curse, in this case – hasn’t kept you from moving forward in your life. Things look less hopeful and shiny now than […]
Sign Language: Reward them for jumping through your hoops, Scorpio
Cancer (June 21-July 22) What started out as an exercise in flexibility may end up somewhere surprising. While playing devil’s advocate, you might come around to the point you’re making and take on that viewpoint for real. While play-flirting with someone, you could discover you’re actually attracted to them. This is what play is for, […]
Sign Language: Prepare to meet your UFO-gazing soulmate, Sagittarius
Cancer (June 21-July 22) Cancers are rarely early adopters. You’re happy to pick up a “new” gadget a year or three after it’s turned out to be a huge success, and you tend to go hit up a movie once the reviews are in and you know you’ll love it. You’ve got enough going on […]
Sign Language: Plant a tree, Aquarius
Cancer (June 21-July 22) Congratulations on your new baby! Only, where is he? Okay, here’s the deal: Giving birth isn’t the only way to lose twenty pounds overnight. While ditching that extra weight might be more amazing if you had a baby to show for it, I’m not sure. You’re suddenly free of an incredible […]
Sign Language: Don’t give up, Cancer!
Cancer (June 21-July 22) If you’ve been disciplined about your new habits, you should have started seeing some modest results by now. If you haven’t, it’s because you haven’t been disciplined enough. Your first inclination at this point may be to simply throw in the towel and give up entirely, but I hope you can […]
Sign Language: Time to explore your ‘stinky self,’ Aquarius
Gemini (May 21-June 20) The sun doesn’t change signs exactly on midnight on the dates listed next to the signs in this column. Rather it varies by a number of hours every year. You could be born on June 20th, and actually be a Cancer, for instance. Most of that day is still in Gemini, […]
Sign Language: This isn’t the week to be a hater, Capricorn
Gemini (May 21-June 20) Tie up those loose ends, fast. You’ve been a terrible procrastinator, and now that buttload of unfinished projects, unanswered emails and voicemails, and all the other crap you haven’t gotten around to has become an incredible weight hanging over your head. Luckily, you could potentially take care of every last thing […]
Sign Language: For once, things are actually all about you, Gemini. Eat it up while you can.
Gemini (May 21-June 20) You may believe it’s egotistical to think it’s all about you, but that all depends on whether it’s your delusion or the reality. This week, it’s the reality. There are enough people who adore you and want to see you happy that they’ve made you the focus of their loving attention, […]
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