For reasons I’d rather not get into because they involve liquor, I was unable to attend the Sept. 1, 2005 Maui County Department of Liquor Adjudication Board hearing. But on Sept. 26, I was able to read through the meeting’s verbatim minutes.
I’m sorry I wasn’t able to attend, because it was a choice hearing—especially at the end, when the board spent a surprising amount of time discussing t-shirts. You know, the officially licensed LC shirts with little silk-screened fake LC badges that some of the LC officials like wearing.
Anyway, at the hearing it was time to order new shirts. What colors did the board members want? Blue? Black? Fuchsia? Pink?
“Ask [former Liquor Commissioner] Jimmy Gomes,” said member Darren Lopez. “He wore pink.”
“And he looked damn good in it,” said member M.D. Alborano.
Member Lance Collins objected to wearing blue, saying it reminded him too much of high school.
“Everybody can get whatever color they want,” LC Director Franklyn Silva finally said.
“We need to wear it at the state conference?” asked member Marilyn Chapman, referring to an upcoming gathering state liquor officials the members will be attending.
“Well, we kind of like to wear it,” Silva said.
“Well, there you go,” Chapman said. “I better order something.”
“Because we like to show off that we’re from Maui,” said Silva. “Everybody gets jealous.”
“Okay-dokay, then,” said Chapman.
This was all apparently too much for Board Chairman Shigeto “Mustard” Murayama, who suddenly jumped into the act.
“Your size is small?” he jokingly asked Chapman, shortly before adjourning the meeting.
“I like you, Mustard,” Chapman responded, who recognized that the meeting was still going on. “We’re still on record.”
“It’s going to end up in the Maui Time Weekly,” Collins said, referring to her still-unconfirmed t-shirt size.
“No, it won’t,” said Chapman.