I’ve just been handed a special bulletin from the Maui Civil Defense Agency announcing a High Surf Advisory for north-facing shores of Maui. Now I’ve just been told that our correspondent Mick E. Finn is right now at the scene and will provide us with a live update. Mick, are you there? Can you hear me?
Finn: I can, Chief.
Editor: Mick, where exactly are you right now?
Finn: I’m standing on Hawea Point, not far from on the island’s northern most point. It’s a promontory jutting out from Oneloa Bay.
Editor: Very good. Now can you set the scene for us? What’s going on?
Finn: The scene is, well, dramatic, Chief. The surf is just churning at a fantastic rate. I’ve never seen the ocean look so ferocious, as though it were about to rear up and swallow us whole. The air is filled with spray and a roar that’s been getting steadily louder over the last 15 minutes or so. Can you hear it over the mic?
Editor: No, I can’t.
Finn: Well, it’s something else. There were a few people out here earlier—curiosity-seekers, I think—but they’ve mostly taken off.
Editor: Look, I’m glad you’re out there—the only reporter out there, I might add—but I don’t want you exposing yourself to any unnecessary risks.
Finn: I appreciate that, Chief, but—Wow! This massive wave just crashed a couple yards in front of me. I’m going to step back a bit…
[sound of clinking glasses]
Editor: What was that, Mick?
Finn: Yeah, I think I’m going to move to some higher—what? What was what?
Editor: Oh, for a moment I thought I heard a couple glasses clinking together.
Finn: Ha! That’s a good one, Chief. I’m standing right now on a rocky promontory getting dowsed with some incredible waves.
Editor: I know. That’s why it was so—hold on a moment, I’ve just been handed a bulletin… Hmm, that’s strange. It seems the High Surf Advisory I just announced a few moments ago was actually issued back on March 19. And that it was cancelled two days later. According to today’s weather report, the seas are calm all around the island.
Finn: Uh, hmm… that’s strange…
Unknown voice: Would you like another gin and tonic, Mr. Finn?
Finn: [muffled] Please. One for the lady, too.
Unknown voice: Very good, sir.
Editor: Mick, was that a waiter I just heard?
Finn: What? No, no. What do you think, I’m poolside at the Ritz-Carlton drinking with some babe instead of reporting the biggest story of the year? Ha! I mean, oh wait, here comes a big one! I think I better-
[phone goes dead]
Editor: Mick! Are you there? Mick! Ladies and gentlemen, you’ve just heard an on-the-spot report from correspondent Mick E. Finn. We’ll have traffic and sports after the break. MTW