1. President George W. Bush’s approval ratings are…
a) Through the roof
b) Hovering around 40 percent, the lowest point in his five years in office.
c) At the lowest point for any president lucky enough to get a second term in the last century, including that Nixon guy.
d) Still falling as you read these words.
e) All of the above
2. Shortly before he died at the age of 70, Bob “Gilligan” Denver told his friends he’d like to play Vice President Dick Cheney in a movie.
3. Which of the following events did not occur in the last two months?
a) U.S. Army officials admitted they knew for more than a year that they were misleading a dead officer’s wife, telling her that her husband had been killed by Iraqi insurgents when in fact he’d been shot accidentally by his own tank’s machine gun.
b) Former Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein burped loudly during a pre-trial hearing.
c) When asked by The Washington Post about private military contractors in Iraq, U.S. Army Brigadier General Karl R. Horst said, “These guys run loose in this country and do stupid stuff. There’s no authority over them, so you can’t come down on them hard when they escalate force. They shoot people, and someone else has to deal with the aftermath. It happens all over the place.”
d) Administration and Pentagon officials tried to start calling the “Global War on Terror (GWOT)” the “Global Struggle Against Violent Extremism (GSAVE),” but were thwarted the next day by President Bush’s continual use of the phrase “We’re at war.”
4. Michael Brown is…
a) The former director of the Federal Emergency Management Agency who resigned a couple weeks ago after fouling up the Hurricane Katrina response.
b) The former judges and stewards commissioner for the International Arabian Horse Association.
c) Humiliated because Bush replaced him as top overseer of federal aid efforts in New Orleans with a Coast Guard admiral.
d) The most recent of many, many officials Bush has fired for outright incompetence.
e) All of the above.
f) a, b and c only.
5. From 1972 to 1981, recently deceased Chief Justice of the Supreme Court William Rehnquist was addicted to the “sedative-hypnotic” drug Placidyl.
6. The New Orleans Times-Picayune is…
a) The oldest continually published free supermarket throwaway west of the Mississippi River.
b) A hard-hitting daily newspaper that published a brilliant five-part series three years ago eerily predicting the hurricane-induced flood that destroyed New Orleans.
c) Still publishing even today.
d) Long out of business.
e) b and c
7. President Bush used the phrase “cash money” in a speech a couple weeks ago.
8. You read all the way to this point because…
a) You literally have nothing better to do today but read a ridiculous quiz that some hack writer jerked out in 10 minutes.
b) You’re still fantasizing about the Bob Denver question above and didn’t realize you’d come to the end.
c) You’re genuinely concerned about the policy choices made by the current administration. MTW
ANSWERS 1-e; 2-b; 3-b; 4-f; 5-a; 6-e; 7-a; 8-b.