Maui Time

NOTW: 42 pounds of missing grenades, a planned naked cartwheel and the worst way to get out of police trouble

OOPS!

On May 1, as airmen of the 91st Missile Wing Security Forces traversed the gravel back roads of North Dakota between two of the nuclear missile launch sites they are charged with protecting, the back hatch of their truck fell open, allowing a 42-pound metal box of explosive grenade rounds to fall out. Despite deploying more than 100 airmen to walk the entire 6-mile route the team had driven, The Washington Post reported on May 15, the ammunition still hadn’t been found. The Air Force’s Office of Special Investigations has offered a $5,000 reward for information leading to the recovery of the box and has alerted local farmers and oil field vendors in the area that the box could be dangerous if damaged.

ANIMAL ANTICS

In Lodi, California, a small black cat took up residence on May 11 on a high ledge near the large outdoor sign of a Chili’s restaurant and thwarted attempts by management, who self-identified as “cat people,” to be rescued. As customers took pictures, Restaurant Cat, as it came to be known, stared down calmly, KTXL TV reported. But when Chili’s employees used a ladder to try to reach it, the cat climbed behind the neon chili pepper and wouldn’t come out, so they left food and water. Presumably it’s keeping the pigeons away.

BUT WHY THOUGH?

Making good on his promise, Welshman Mark Williams, 43, celebrated his third world snooker championship by conducting the post-match news conference at the Crucible Theatre in Sheffield, England, in the buff. Williams, who beat John Higgins of Scotland on May 7, is the event’s oldest winner in 40 years, Reuters noted. “I’m not going to say anything stupid… but to be honest, if I won this next year, I’d cartwheel down here naked,” Williams promised.

DON’T DO DRUGS

The Daytona Beach International Airport was briefly evacuated early on May 11 when John Greenwood, 25, caused a ruckus as he rode around the baggage carousel in the nude, trying to get out onto the tarmac, reported News4Jax. Sheriff’s deputies shocked him with a Taser, to which he responded: “We gotta get outta here, there’s a bomb going to go off. I planted a bomb in the bathroom.” After sweeping the airport, officials found no explosives, but Volusia County Sheriff Mike Chitwood said they did find Greenwood’s clothes in a backpack hidden in a hole in the bathroom wall. Described by Chitwood as a frequent flyer, Greenwood is known to local law enforcement, and he admitted taking drugs on Thursday night. He faces several charges after the incident.

EASY WAY OUT

Like any resourceful mom, Johanna Giselhall Sandstrom of Kyrkhult, Sweden, made lemonade out of lemons after she discovered a spelling error in her newly acquired tattoo. Sandstrom had asked the tattoo artist to entwine the names of her two children, Nova and Kevin, on her arm, and it wasn’t until she arrived home that she realized the tattoo read “Kelvin” instead of “Kevin.” “My heart stopped and I thought I was going to faint,” Sandstrom told local newspaper Blekinge Lans Tidning. Removing the tattoo would require multiple treatments, she learned, so Sandstrom decided instead to change her 2-year-old son’s name to Kelvin, The Independent reported on May 16. “When I thought more about it, I realized that no one else has this name,” she said. “It became unique. Now we think it is better than Kevin.”

THAT’S NOT SNOT

For two years, Kendra Jackson of Omaha, Nebraska, “had a box of Puffs… everywhere I went,” due to constant sneezing, coughing and nose-blowing that started after she hit her face on the dashboard during a car accident in 2013, she told KETV. Multiple doctors told her allergies were the cause, but eventually she was diagnosed with cerebrospinal fluid (CSF) leak — her brain fluid was leaking into her nasal cavity at the rate of about a half-pint a day. In early May, Nebraska Medicine rhinologist Dr. Christie Barnes plugged the small hole between Jackson’s skull and nostrils with her own fatty tissue, giving Jackson the relief she had been seeking for years.

AWWWWWW…

Six baby squirrels in Elkhorn, Nebraska, found themselves in a sticky situation when their tails became tangled in tree sap and knotted together in their nest. When a man noticed what looked like a six-headed squirrely cluster moving around in a tree, wildlife expert Laura Stastny, executive director of Nebraska Wildlife Rehab, got the call. Stastny told the Omaha World-Herald that her group sees a case like this every year or so. She covered the squirrels with a towel to calm them and then snipped the fur that held them together.

TO BE SEVENTEEN AGAIN

Bouvier Gilstrap-Portley, 25, was arrested on May 11 in Dallas after scamming his way into two Dallas high schools in an apparent effort to relive his basketball career. Gilstrap-Portley was charged with posing as a 17-year-old student and Hurricane Harvey evacuee so that he could play high school basketball. As Dallas schools welcomed students displaced by the hurricane, Gilstrap-Portley first enrolled at Skyline High School and then at Hillcrest High School, where he was a star on the team (and dated a 14-year-old girl). In fact, high school coaches voted him offensive player of the year. The Dallas Morning News reported that a former coach spotted him at a tournament and alerted Hillcrest’s coach that he had graduated “a time ago.”