WHAT’S IN A NAME?
Unfortunately named Johna Martinez-Meth, 46, of Clearlake, California, was sentenced on Feb. 21 for involuntary manslaughter stemming from a delivery she made to Adrian Sepulveda, an inmate at California Medical Facility in Vacaville, in May 2018. Sepulveda, who died on May 28, 2018, was serving a life sentence for second-degree murder when Martinez-Meth visited him; an autopsy showed that shortly after her visit, Sepulveda had swallowed multiple balloons filled with methamphetamine, Fox News reported. A subsequent search of Martinez-Meth’s home uncovered meth and balloons. She pleaded guilty to the charges and will serve two years.
THE CONTINUING CRISIS
Attorneys in Maryville, Tennessee, are debating the merits of a felony case brought against Howard Matthew Webb, 31, after he – proceed with caution here – dipped his testicles in a takeout container of salsa that his companion was delivering along with Mexican food. As the two ferried the food on Jan. 12, Webb took his boys for a swim while he recorded the act, and the driver laughed and said, “This is what you get when you give an 89-cent tip for an almost 30-minute drive.” Webb is heard saying, “Oh, oh, it feels so good.” The video made it to Facebook, and Webb was arrested on Feb. 22 for “adulteration of foods, liquids or pharmaceuticals,” a Class C felony. But three local attorneys told the Knoxville News Sentinel that they don’t think the charge holds up. “It’s doubtful under these facts, no matter how outrageous, that this criminal offense could be proven,” said attorney Gregory P. Isaacs. “It appears salsa man may have committed an act for which the legislature has not yet contemplated the absurdity of.”
Neighbors of Michal Prasek, 33, of Zdechov, Czech Republic, were rightly concerned about the animals living on his property. In 2016, Prasek bought a full-grown lion, and two years later added a lioness, for breeding purposes. He built enclosures for them, defying government regulations, and would not allow authorities onto his property to investigate. BBC News reported on March 5 that Prasek’s project had met a tragic end: He was discovered by his father in the lion’s cage, mauled to death. The father said the cage had been locked from the inside. Police who were called to the scene killed the two lions in order to reach Prasek’s body. Presumably grasping for a silver lining, Zdechov Mayor Tomas Kocourek commented: “Today’s incident will perhaps finally help to resolve this long-term problem.” Cold, dude.
Mark Anthony Jones, 46, of Marion, Indiana, is probably in the market for a nice holster after his experience on Feb. 28. Jones told police he was walking along a riverside trail in Marion early that morning when his firearm began to slip from his waistband. As he reached to adjust it, the gun discharged and, according to the police report, “The bullet entered just above his penis and exited his scrotum.” WISH-TV reported that Jones did not have a license for the Hi-Point 9mm weapon. Grant County prosecutors were considering whether to charge him with any crimes.
DRINKIN’ AND SHOOTIN’
Ah, the pregnant possibilities of combining alcohol and firearms. In Warren County, Virginia, Mariah Smith, 38, of Arlington, and another woman were enjoying a quiet horse ride through a cemetery in Middletown on the evening of March 2, reported NBC4. But when they were asked to remove their horses from the cemetery grounds, Smith fired her .38 Smith and Wesson pistol, according to Warren County sheriff’s officers who responded to a call there. Deputies found the women nearby and charged Smith with three firearms charges, including possessing a concealed firearm while under the influence.