PEOPLE WITH ISSUES
KION TV reported on Jan. 7 that a Salinas, California, family’s Ring doorbell camera captured video of a man licking the doorbell for more than three hours. The homeowners were out of town during the encounter, which took place around 5am, but their children were inside. Sylvia Dungan, who was alerted to the activity at her front door on her phone, said, “I thought, boy there’s a lot of traffic… Who the heck is that?” Salinas police identified the man as Roberto Daniel Arroyo, 33. Arroyo also relieved himself in the front yard and visited a neighbor’s house. “You kind of laugh about it afterwards because technically he didn’t do anything,” Dungan said, although police later charged him with petty theft and prowling.
Dale Sourbeck, 49, of Pittston, Pennsylvania, had football on his mind after his arresting start to 2019. In the early morning hours of Jan. 3, he used a hammer to break into the Rock Street Music store and helped himself to two guitars – to start with, reported WNEP TV. Presumably realizing he was being watched by surveillance cameras, Sourbeck left and returned to the store wearing a mask and grabbed three more guitars. Police tracked Sourbeck down using the surveillance camera shot of his license plate and found the stolen guitars in his home. Upon his arrest, the only statement he made was “Go Eagles.”
Veterinarian Molly Kreuze of Springfield, Virginia, is planning to purchase an artificial Christmas tree next year after her natural one came with something extra: more than 100 praying mantises. Kreuze told WJLA-TV the leggy insects emerged from an egg sac under the tree’s branches and were “crawling on the walls, crawling on the ceiling, crawling on the windows.” Kreuze captured as many as she could and was hoping to find a new home for them, as it seems “people really like” the bugs. The Pennsylvania Department of Agriculture advised that people who find the egg sacs on their Christmas trees should clip the branch and take it outside. Otherwise, without their regular source of food, the newly hatched insects will start to eat each other.
UNCLEAR ON THE CONCEPT
Three customers and staff of a Wells Fargo branch in Solana Beach, California, were stunned on Jan. 3 when 35-year-old Clint Gray entered the bank shortly after it opened and yelled, “This is a robbery! Everybody get on the ground!” a witness told The San Diego Union-Tribune. But Gray, who was unarmed, didn’t follow through. Instead, he stripped down to his underwear and sat in a chair near the front door, asking bank employees to call law enforcement. He also kindly told one female customer that she could sit in a chair instead of lying on the floor. A sheriff’s deputy arrived shortly, and Gray surrendered without resistance; he was later charged with attempted robbery.
SOCIAL MEDIA FAIL
Game Warden Cannon Harrison, 24, is well known around his area in Oklahoma, so when he filled out a profile for the dating app Bumble, he didn’t include his profession. But when he “matched” with a woman nearby in December, he was surprised when she messaged him that she had just bagged “a bigo buck.” “I thought… it was someone who was messing with me because they knew who I was,” Harrison told The Washington Post. Deer season had ended, although hunting with a crossbow was still legal, so he decided to play along. He wrote back, “Hell yeah, get em with a bow?” When the unnamed huntress demurred, he asked her if she had been “spotlighting” – an illegal technique that involves shining a light into the animal’s eyes to stun it before shooting it, and she replied, “Yeahhhh.” Next she sent Harrison a photo of herself with her trophy, and Harrison went to work. He tracked her down on social media, and the following morning, game wardens appeared at her door. The woman paid a fine and will avoid jail time – and probably a date with Warden Harrison.
Heather Carpenter, 42, was charged with damaging property and criminal mischief in Sarasota County, Florida, after expressing in a particularly gross way her dissatisfaction with the principal of the school where Carpenter was substitute teaching. Phillippi Shores Elementary School Principal Allison Foster had been helping Carpenter with a professional issue, but Carpenter was unhappy with the way it was going, according to the Sarasota Herald-Tribune. So on Dec. 1, in a park where Foster was hosting a birthday party for her daughter later in the day, Carpenter – whose own daughter was invited to the party – arrived with human feces, according to a witness, which she spread on the grill and picnic tables. Carpenter pleaded not guilty, but the Sheriff’s Office report stated that she admitted she “intentionally placed human waste and fecal matter on the tables at Urfer Park with the intent of disrupting the birthday party planned by Foster.”
LEAST COMPETENT CRIMINAL
An unidentified 39-year-old wannabe carjacker hit a bump in the road on Jan. 7 when he approached the driver of a Chevrolet Volt in San Diego, reported The San Diego Union-Tribune. The thief demanded the driver’s keys and mobile phone around 6am, according to San Diego police, and tried to drive off in the vehicle. But he couldn’t figure out how to operate the hybrid car, and in frustration he ran away, discarding the phone and keys. Police located the carjacker a short distance away and arrested him on suspicion of carjacking and robbery.