TELLING ON HERSELF
Jennifer Colyne Hall, 48, of Toney, Alabama, was distraught when she called the Limestone County Sheriff’s Office dispatch on Oct. 2, so officers were sent to call on her. Public information officer Steven Young told The News Courier the officers first approached Hall’s landlord, who told them she had been “acting strangely” and hinted she might be on drugs. When the officers spoke to Hall, she produced a clear bag from a baby wipes container and told them, “I want this dope tested” because she feared the methamphetamine in the bag had possibly been tainted with another drug. Asked if she had consumed the drugs, Hall said she had, but couldn’t remember when. She was arrested and charged with possession of a controlled substance and was held at the Limestone County Jail.
A LIFE OF CRIME
A front-door camera in McDowell County, North Carolina, twice captured a bold loiterer on the home’s porch: a naked man. Sheriff’s officers arrested Denny Lynn Dover, 45, in early October after identifying him by his distinctive tattoos, The McDowell News reported. Dover had visited the home in April and again on Oct. 3, when he attempted to break in. He was charged with first-degree burglary and held on $50,000 bond. Dover isn’t new to a life of crime: He also has convictions for arson, drug possession, larceny, peeping and breaking in.
The Louisville Courier Journal reported that Knox County (Kentucky) Sheriff’s deputies arrested Barrett L. Sizemore, 48, of Heidrick, on Oct. 4 for theft of a “honey wagon” — a septic cleaning truck — in Barbourville. The truck went missing on Oct. 2, and authorities located it in a barn in Laurel County, not far from where Sizemore was arrested. He is being held on a $10,000 bond.
An unidentified 89-year-old woman who has had previous trouble with trespassers on her remote property outside Piru, California, was hospitalized on Oct. 5 after her attempt to shoo away a group of nine people went wrong. After spotting the interlopers, she warned them away and fired two rounds from her rifle into a hillside to “emphasize her point,” Ventura County Sheriff’s Office Capt. Eric Buschow told the Los Angeles Times. As the group retreated, the woman pursued them in her pickup truck to be sure they were leaving and pointed her gun at them. One man tried to talk with her, but she couldn’t hear him, so he opened the door of her truck and grabbed the gun barrel. “In the process,” Buschow said, “she fell out of the truck (and) unbeknownst to (the man), the truck was still in gear, so the rear wheel drove over her leg, continued to roll and went off a cliff.” She was airlifted to a hospital with injuries to her ankle, and neither party wanted to press charges, so no arrests were made.
An unidentified man in Phoenix became angry at his upstairs neighbors for making too much noise on Oct. 6. He first tried banging on their door around 11:20pm, but then returned to his apartment and fired several shots into his ceiling – one of which apparently ricocheted and hit him in the face, according to the Arizona Republic. Although no one else was injured, the shooter was taken to the hospital in extremely critical condition.
Tina Springer, 44, was the passenger in a car driven by Brent Parks, 79, as they stopped to let a train pass in Enid, Oklahoma, on Oct. 3. Parks’ yellow Labrador retriever chose that moment to jump from the back seat onto the center console, causing a .22 caliber handgun stored underneath to discharge and strike Springer in the left thigh. The Enid News & Eagle reported that Parks, whom Springer is a caretaker for, told police he doesn’t usually carry the weapon loaded. Springer was taken to a hospital for treatment.
COOL… BUT CAN YOU THROW IT AWAY?
Springfield, Missouri, authorities have come up with a clever campaign to curb pet waste in the downtown area, the Associated Press reported. Piles of dog poop are being tagged with recycled paper flags sporting messages such as: “Is this your turd? ‘Cuz that’s absurd,” and “This is a nudge to pick up the fudge.” The city noted it spends $7,500 a year to pick up 25 pounds of waste per week from downtown parks and parking lots.
Open your wallet: If you have enough scratch, you can buy a customized pair of Nike Air Max 97s dubbed “Jesus Shoes” from a Brooklyn, New York, company called MSCHF. Introduced online Oct. 8, the shoes have 60ccs of holy water from the Jordan River injected into the soles “so you can literally walk on water,” noted Cosmopolitan, a crucifix in the laces, red insoles harkening to Vatican traditions, and a Matthew 14:25 inscription. They are also scented with frankincense and sport a godly white and light blue colorway. The Jesus Shoes originally sold for $1,425, but are now fetching anywhere from $2,000 to upwards of $11,000.