THE VISION THING
President Yahya Jammeh of Gambia (Africa’s smallest country) has long believed he had mystic powers, but he said a vision received on Jan. 18 makes it possible for him to personally cure AIDS and asthma, though only on certain days and for a limited number of people. The vision gave him recipes based on seven herbs mentioned in the Quran but authorized him to treat no more than 10 AIDS sufferers, on Thursdays and Mondays, and not more than 100 asthma patients, on Fridays and Saturdays. Not surprisingly, the government self-reports success. Jammeh’s previous visions included making Gambia rich by exporting oil, but so far no deposits have been found.
Chilean artist Marco Evaristti, serving dinner to friends at a gallery in Santiago in January, presented a dish of meatballs that he said had been cooked using liposuctioned fat from his own body. “The question of whether or not to eat human flesh is more important than the result,” he said. “You are not a cannibal if you eat art.” Evaristti is the artist who once put live fish in a blender at a gallery and invited guests to push the button.
GOVERNMENT IN ACTION
Nathaniel Abraham was convicted of murder in 1998 and incarcerated, but only until he turned 21, which was in January, at which time he was moved into a rent-free apartment in Bay City, Mich., and enrolled tuition-free in Delta College, in a program sponsored by Michigan Rehabilitation Services. Though some criticized such lavish treatment of a murderer, Abraham seemed ready to start his new life, arriving in Oakland Circuit Court for his formal release wearing “a black fur coat, ivory fedora hat, and a ivory and hot-pink pinstriped suit with matching pink tie and shoes,” according to a Detroit News reporter.
NOT SO PRIVATE DICK
Testifying in January against a San Bernardino, Calif., strip club accused of promoting prostitution, licensed private investigator Duane Minard (who was working on contract for the police) admitted that he went too far in gathering evidence. He said he had paid a woman $300 for a legitimate dance in a private room, but by the time she had “finished,” he owed her $500 more for “additional” services. He testified that he knew he wasn’t supposed to go all the way, but “I didn’t have the time to clear my head,” he said. “I was aroused. I was waiting for the cavalry to come over the hill.”
LEAST COMPETENT CRIMINALS
Police in Lilburn, Ga., were called to the cemetery adjacent to Luxomni Baptist Church at 2:40 a.m. one morning in January to investigate reports of a man screaming for about two hours. They found Ezekiel Dejesus-Rodriguez, 24, pinned under a gravestone with a bloody, broken leg and said he had apparently been knocking over headstones for fun until one fell on him.
Kurt Husfeldt, 46, and two others were arrested in Lindenhurst, N.Y., in January in possession of 14 stolen electronic devices that they apparently assumed were cell phones. However, they were global positioning devices from a nearby municipal facility, and police had followed their signals to Husfeldt’s home. MTW