Dave “The Dragon” Lockwood and his tournament-tested sons, Max, 16, Jon, 13, and Ben, 10, of Silver Spring, Md., might become to competitive tiddlywinks what the Manning family of quarterbacks is to football, according to a January Washington Post story. Dave was previously ranked No. 1 in the English Tiddlywinks Association (and is currently No. 8, with Max No. 52). “Tiddlywinks doesn’t sound very serious,” said Max, but “[t]here’s so much strategy.” (For the uninformed: You mash a “squidger” down on a “wink” to propel it either into the “pot” or to “squop” it onto an opponent’s wink to temporarily disable it.) Dave said he plans to get Britain’s Prince Philip, a winker, to suggest tiddlywinks as a demonstration “sport” at London’s 2012 Summer Olympics.
In November, the military ruler of Myanmar, Gen. Than Shwe, ordered his entire government to immediately pack up and move from Rangoon to a new capital 200 miles away in the small town of Pyinmana, based on dire warnings from his astrologer (though the move had been long-rumored). Myanmar/Burma has a history with astrology and numerology, and in fact, democracy activists purposely commenced their most propitious demonstrations on Aug. 8, 1988, at 8:08 a.m. Shwe was just named the world’s third-worst dictator by Parade magazine.
THIS WEEK IN HAGGIS
In September in Bethlehem, Pa., the annual haggis-eating contest was won by Darren Lucey of Brooklyn, N.Y. (1-1/2 pounds in 2 minutes), but the only female entrant, slow-eating Joanne Shaver, said she competed only to get the free haggis, which she loves. Haggis is sheep stomach stuffed with tongue, heart, liver, oats and onions, best served at the enticing color of gray.
LATEST RELIGIOUS MESSAGES
Evangelical Christian minister Rob Schenck and two colleagues entered a U.S. Senate hearing room the day before the January confirmation hearings for Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito and daubed each seat with “holy oil” to bless the proceedings, saying that things had gone well when they had done the same thing for Chief Justice Roberts’ hearings. “God… is interested in what goes on” there, Rev. Schenck told a Wall Street Journal reporter.
The bestiality count News of the Weird reported in October against mortgage broker Brendan McMahon in Sydney, Australia, was dropped in November, but McMahon is still charged with abusing rabbits in other ways. A court psychiatrist said McMahon probably genuinely believed he was helping the rabbits. And former Oklahoma district judge Donald Thompson was finally scheduled for arraignment in January, 12 months after he was charged with indecency for allegedly using a noisy masturbation aid under his robes during trials and other court business. An additional count was recently filed based on a court reporter’s statement that she saw him shaving his pubic hair during a trial. MTW