Fans of this column know that we really enjoy poking fun at the Maui County Department of Liquor Control. It’s hard not to find humor in their requirement that nightclubs restrict dancing to a taped-off zone or that LC inspectors’ panties get ruffled when they find employees using their familiar as opposed to their given names on timesheets, to say nothing of the law requiring establishments to card every single patron who wants to buy alcohol.
But every now then, something happens that makes even us pause and—dare I say it—sympathize with the lowly liquor inspector. Recently we came across an underage girl who was using a fake ID to try to get into bars. Fake IDs are an old, old method of getting booze—at least as old as legit IDs.
And what a fake ID she was using—let’s just say it wasn’t your typical Hawai`i driver’s license. First off, it was an international driving license, issued by the United Nations. Second, it was for a woman in her thirties. Third, it was for an adult woman who didn’t look anything like the underage girl. Fourth, it expired more than a year ago. And fifth, its edges were badly frayed and about a quarter of the laminated plastic had peeled away.
Now this girl tells us—and we have no reason not to believe her—that she used this ID to get her into three out of four bars in the Kihei area. Two let her in outright, one place rejected it because of the frayed edges and another looked at first to deny her entry.
“What’s your birthday?” the doorman asked her, apparently scrutinizing the card.
“Uhhh… Feb. 28?” she said.
It wasn’t, but I guess it was close enough because the doorman let her in. MTW