For the last 15 years, Oceanic Time Warner Cable has been Maui County’s sole cable TV provider. And it’s been pretty cool, right? They provide us whatever broadband speeds they like in exchange for whatever they wish to charge us, and if we don’t like it we can cut the coaxial cable and walk away. Oh, and if they want to take a hardball approach to negotiating with something like CBS that involves simply shutting down Showtime at the height of Dexter’s closing season, they can do that, too.
Anyway, Oceanic would like to continue this business model of doing what they like, when they like it, for another 20 years. In August, the company filed a request with the Hawaii Department of Commerce and Consumer Affairs (DCCA) saying that everything’s just peachy now, and it’s gonna be even peachier if they get to extend their monopoly another generation.
“Oceanic is fully prepared and committed to continuing its quality and innovative services to the residents of Maui County through the next franchise period,” the company states in its Aug. 30 DCCA application. “As with the current franchise period, the next period will see new technological advances, and Oceanic intends to continue its leadership and innovation within the cable television industry to provide innovative, quality and dependable service to all of its subscribers… Oceanic looks forward to continuing its tradition of providing dependable, quality and innovative cable television services to the residents of Maui County though a franchise that balances the interests of stakeholders with the flexibility to deploy and manage technology and resources in the best, long-term interest of all subscribers in the county.”
If the DCCA is judging applications on how many times the company uses meaningless corporate buzzwords and euphemisms, then Oceanic will easily win its license renewal. Oh, and in case anyone out there in TV land wants a say in this, here are the details on some upcoming DCCA public hearings on the application:
• Tuesday, Oct. 15, 2:30pm: Kaunakakai Gym Conference Room
• Wednesday, Oct. 16, 4:30pm: Lanai High & Elementary School
• Tuesday, Oct. 22, 4:30pm: West Maui Senior Center (788 Pauoa St., Lahaina)
• Wednesday, Nov. 6, 5:30pm: Maui Waena Intermediate School (795 Onehee Ave., Kahului)
You can also email written comments on the application to email@example.com or mail it to DCCA-CATV, PO Box 541, Honolulu, HI 97809.
Photo of adorable cat watching itself on TV: Cloudzilla/Wikimedia Commons