A new sports center in Mexico City will be devoted to the revival of ancient Aztec- and Mayan-created games that are rarely played in Mexico because they are dangerous, including a field-hockey-like competition played with a fireball. In another game, “pelota mixteca,” players wearing metal-knuckled leather gloves punch a 2-pound, hard-rubber ball that could knock opponents unconscious. One thrill of the flaming-ball game, “pelota purepecha,” is that some play it at night on unlighted fields. (In Mayan culture, according to a March USA Today dispatch, the world began with the gods challenging two humans to a ball game, and beating them, at which point the two die and are resurrected as the sun and moon.)
YEP, THEY’RE ALL CROOKS
(1) John White, now running for sheriff in Roundup, Montana, will be unable to carry a gun if he wins because of a long-ago bank robbery conviction. (2) Convicted felons might be running against each other if they win their primaries in May for county judge-executive in Hindman, Kentucky. Democrat Donnie Newsome and Republican Randy Thompson were both convicted of election fraud (though Thompson’s case is still on appeal). (3) Cynthia Diaz was re-elected town clerk in Coventry, Vermont, in March, though still facing 10 felony personal tax-filing counts. (The town clerk is the town’s treasurer, delinquent-tax collector and trustee of public money.)
CRACKING UNDER PRESSURE
The U.S. Senate passed a bill in March to correct a misimpression Congress had in the 1990s when it instituted mandatory sentences for crack-cocaine possession that were about 100 times the sentences for powdered cocaine. Scientists long ago pointed out that the two substances are chemically the same. The new provisions set crack-cocaine sentences at only about 18 times those for powder.
(1) The Utah legislature passed a bill in March to, for the first time, legalize the personal collection of rainwater. “Harvesting” rain has been illegal, but now would be allowed, with a state permit, in special state-approved containers. (2) The Tennessee legislature is considering removing a longstanding ban on fish tanks in barbershops. Currently, no “animals, birds or fish” (except guide dogs) are permitted where hair is cut. Opponents said they don’t mind aquariums but fear that trendy pedicures by nibbling fish (now in New York and Los Angeles salons) might come to Tennessee. THE IRS IS EVIL, PART 4,327 A December Seattle Times profile of Rachel Porcaro (a single mother with an $18,000-a-year hair-cutting job, raising two kids and living with her parents) centered on the IRS’s year-long, full-blown audit of her, and subsequently of her parents, because she was flagged for earning too little money on which to raise a family in Seattle. Ultimately, Rachel and her parents prevailed on every issue except the Earned Income Tax Credit, in that Rachel’s kids receive a little too much help from her parents for her to qualify. PROPHET MOTIVE Raj Patel’s recent appearance on Comedy Central’s The Colbert Report was ostensibly based around his work on global poverty and food production, but followers of an 87-year-old Scottish mystic named Benjamin Creme received a different message: that Patel was the long-awaited messiah Creme had been promising would appear to unite humanity. Overwhelmed by the followers during a recent book-signing tour, according to a March profile in London’s Guardian, Patel made public denials of any messianic role (which of course only confirmed the sect’s certainty that he is the man) and engaged a few in conversation, but, he said, talking to them “made me really depressed, actually.” WHEN TEACHERS ATTACK! (1) Schoolteacher Lucia Carico, who has been in good standing in Hawkins County, Tennessee, schools since 1973, was fired in March over an incident in which she stabbed a 7th-grade student in the arm seven times with a pen (because, she said, he had been unruly, singing and passing gas). (2) Teacher Randolphe Forde was fired in January by the Clayton County, Georgia, school board for an October incident in which he allegedly “put a hit” on an 11th-grade student (offering $50).
ONE STROKE OVER THE LINE
In February, police in Upper Darby, Pennsylvania, said they had to delay processing accused molester Siri Pinnya, 36, because he would not stop masturbating. Said the police superintendent, “We only fingerprinted his left hand.”