Gemini (May 21-June 20)
Take a break. There’s only so much you can accomplish now, and laboring to make progress when tensions are high or chaos reigns is just so much wasted effort. Once the dust settles, people calm down, and your own emotions pull out of their tailspin, you’ll be able to soar swiftly and efficiently to your destination, whereas if you attempt to get there now, you’ll end up in a Bermuda Triangle of sorts, instead, flying in circles and running out of fuel. Go find something else to do, already. When the “weather” clears and it’s safe to continue your journey, you’ll know.
Cancer (June 21-July 22)
The end of something doesn’t have to be a dismal funereal affair, where everyone involved mopes around feeling sorry for themselves. You already know how every ending is a new beginning. In this case, that may very well be cause for outright celebration, not doom and gloom. You’ve had enough of that kind of shit. Turn up the music, tell everyone to wake up and snap out of it, and change things up. It’s time to put on a party hat and drink, not to drown your sorrows, but to loosen you up for something altogether new!
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)
Everyone makes mistakes. In most cases, it’s best to own up to yours and fix them. Sometimes, though, it really doesn’t matter. Going to that much effort to rectify something so small will actually just make you seem nitpicky and petty, as well as willing to waste others’ time on something that’s relatively inconsequential. Since those aren’t typical qualities of yours, let this oopsie slide. If and when someone notices and points out your gaffe, admit to it, of course—but until then, assume that it probably doesn’t make a whit of difference, since that’s almost certainly the case.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
Generally your judgment is rather good, but you only developed it by making some spectacularly disastrous mistakes in the past. Occasionally, one of these will come back to haunt you in some way. There’s no point in denying what happened, but you can easily drive the point home about how you learned from your past stupidity. Don’t go on the defensive if one of these experiences is brought up; it happened, and everyone knows it. However, your more recent life experience has taught you how to deal with uncomfortable situations with grace; this is one of those, so show off your new skills.
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)
It’s easy to be friends with someone when they shine. Of course, when they need your friendship the most is when they do something they’re ashamed of (and you probably are, too). Which kind of friend will you be when something like this happens? Will you stick by them, despite their reprehensible or incomprehensible actions? Or will you shun them? Of course, we all know which friend you’d like to be in theory. Can you put it into practice, despite what they’ve done—perhaps something that even horrifies or disgusts you? This week you may find out.
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
If someone claims to be proud of everything they’ve ever done, they’re full of shit, and/or probably too insufferable to be around. Everyone screws up, and pulls crap they’re ashamed of after the fact. I doubt you need this warning, but avoid holier-than-thou types this week, like the plague. They’re not good for your happiness, well-being, or self-esteem, and have little to offer besides their stupid judgmental attitudes. You have a dark side, and even if you’ve done things you’re a little ashamed of, you should be proud of being willing to explore and accept all of yourself. Until they can do the same, don’t bother with them.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-DEC.21)
Sure, all the sexting and naughty chat is plenty of fun, but until you meet face-to-face, online flirtations pretty much exist only in the realm of fantasy. So much of a connection between two people can only happen when you’re in the same room with each other. Many people have already discovered that what seemed ideal, perhaps even phenomenal, in theory, turned out to be a tremendous disappointment in reality. Until you have hands-on verification that the fantastic dream you’re talking and thinking about will actually work for you, don’t get your hopes too high. This scenario may not be too good to be true, but unfortunately it probably is.
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
When all the pieces don’t quite add up, either the story you’re being told is highly unusual, or it just plain isn’t true. We’re both cynical enough to more or less assume the latter, but just in case this is one of those weird situations, hold off on the accusations. See if you can get any substantiation for the odd scenario that’s being described to you. You can afford to give someone the benefit of the doubt—to a point. Eventually, though, you deserve and should require a little ore than having to rely on blind faith. Proof is available, if it exists. Ask for some.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
Moving too fast happens most often when we’re young, but even older people can get carried away and suddenly find themselves a few steps past where they’re strictly comfortable. It may be difficult to force things backwards a few steps—particularly if there are logistical difficulties, like moving out of your lover’s apartment—but that’s still preferable to the alternative: carrying on as if this was just where you meant to be, even if you’re not feeling it. It’s that kind of false bravado that leads to even more discomfort, and, ultimately, pain and heartbreak. You need to be sure—so give yourself the space to make sure, even if asking for it is very, very hard.
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)
I’ve never cheated on anyone in my life. However, just because I never went there doesn’t mean I’d treat anyone who did with righteous, holier-than-thou derision and scorn. I might be more guarded with them, true. However, I choose to believe that people can learn from their mistakes, and even though they may never be free of the impulses that led to those mistakes, they can change their responses to them. Of course, some people will never learn, because they’re incapable or unwilling. Has the person spinning stories to you changed? Or are they just telling tales? That’s this week’s question.
Aries (March 21-April 19)
Manifesting what you want is usually relatively easy for you (by that I mean easier than it is for other signs). That’s why you get impatient when it doesn’t happen right away, as soon as you put it out there. When what you’re trying to bring into your life is complex, subtle, or very rare, it’s simply going to take longer. Accept that. Trying to force it to happen before it’s “ready” will just mean ultimately longer delays. Remember that patience you’re supposed to be cultivating? This week (and in the weeks to come), put it to the test.
Taurus (April 20-May 20)
Expecting everyone to conform to your standards is slightly ridiculous. Attempting to require them to do so is frankly preposterous. If you’re trying anyway, it’s because you still haven’t yet learned to appropriately pick your battles, because these types of fights either can’t be won, or can only be won by sacrificing something even more valuable; in other words they’re simply not worth the effort. This week, take a step back from any conflicts (or potential conflicts) you’ve got going on. For at least a couple of them, you’ll be happier and better off if you just back off. They’re not worth it. Figuring out which ones will not only make you happier, it’ll make you much likelier to win the battles really worth fighting.