Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
How you used to dread your turn to give a speech in front of the class, or run up and kick the ball, or do anything where you might fall flat on your face in front of people! It’s still not your favorite thing, but you buckled down your anxiety and got through it all those other times, and eventually got much better at that kind of thing. Don’t let your worries get the best of you now. This time, your turn on the spot will be like most of those other times; you might puke before you go on stage, but you’ll get through it and, in fact, shine.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
A teacher friend of mine designed a multiple choice test in which every correct answer was “A.” He put the easiest questions last, so by the time his students got the end, they were flipping back to figure out which of the earlier questions they’d surely screwed up. Besides how hilarious his diabolical plan is, it also reminds me of some of the stuff you’ll experience this week, since people and events will definitely be conspiring to make you second-guess yourself. Trust your mind and gut, though. The right answer is still the right answer, no matter how improbable it seems.
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)
Don’t take everything so personally. Even when a relationship doesn’t work out, it doesn’t have to be your fault (or theirs, really). Half of what makes a relationship satisfying is who you get to be in that couple; if you don’t like which parts of yourself get expressed, it doesn’t matter how great the other person is. If you feel funny, generous, and kind, however, it’ll go a long way towards making you happy in the relationship. A compatible pair isn’t always about how hot, smart, and amazing you are—it’s at least as much about how hot, smart, and amazing your partner feels when s/he’s with you.
Aries (March 21-April 19)
Try not to compare yourself to others. There’ll always be someone with a better ass, sharper language skills, or a bigger wallet. Luckily, this isn’t a competition. Or, if it is, it’s one you can win just by being uniquely you, by expressing the quirks (both “good” and “bad) that make you stand out from the crowd. Once the only criteria for “winning” this contest is being yourself, there’s no competition; who, after all, is better at being you than you are? So, chill out, and stop giving your supposed competition the evil eye. They can’t beat you at this game.
Taurus (April 20-May 20)
Either be serious about what you’re doing, or don’t bother doing it at all. If you’re not gung ho about getting it done right, you might as well give up right now, since you’ll just fail, anyway. This is a full-throttle or full-stop situation. Have you decided just what your level of commitment is? Do you really care about seeing this through? This is a good week to figure that out. I’m not sure that your decision will have much impact on your short-term future, one way or the other. However, what you decide right now could have a tremendous impact on your long-term outlook, so when making that judgment, don’t be flippant.
Gemini (May 21-June 20)
When it’s cold enough for your pipes to freeze, you need to keep the water running. Just a drip will do, but fail to leave the tap open and you’ll be sorry. Creative juices are much the same way. They can dry up or freeze up easily at times—and this is certainly one of those dangerous moments. Keep them flowing or risk a creative lock-up that could last until spring. As with pipes, just a drip will do, but make sure you do a little something to inspire your creative flow each and every day.
Cancer (June 21-July 22)
Don’t be afraid to proclaim yourself an expert. You are one, in this particular area, and can speak with authority based on fairly extensive knowledge and experience. In fact, not speaking up would be doing a disservice to those who could truly benefit from your wisdom. Being too shy to speak up, so hesitant that you speak up too late, or too stingy to bother sharing whatever you’re got is pretty lame and embarrassing. There’s really no reason to keep your hard-won lessons to yourself, so please offer them to those who need your wise advice.
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)
I counseled Cancers to own their own authority, but I’m going to give you the opposite advice: stand down. You may think you know everything, and you’re not afraid to act as if you do. Often that ends up with you eating your own words, which is bad enough, but occasionally you have the potential to talk someone into a bad situation that you can’t easily get them out of. Therefore, make a special effort to think carefully before you speak this week, and especially before you exert your own special brand of persuasion. You may believe you’re acting in someone’s best interest, but unless you’re sure, please leave well enough alone.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
Never say die. The game’s not over until the timer runs out, and so—even if it seems hopeless—you should play as if you have a chance at winning. Playing to lose will only yield a loss for sure. Playing to win in this particular scenario will mean you’ll still probably lose, but at least you have a chance. Sure, at this point you’re grasping at the thinnest of straws, but it’s better than just giving up. Assess your best prospect, no matter how unlikely or difficult to implement, and go for it. Losing should not even be on the menu until it’s served, and you have no choice left but to eat it.
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)
Miners used to bring canaries into coal mines with them to give them advance warning about the quality of the air. If the bird dropped dead, the miners knew to evacuate or risk the same fate. You can apply the same principle in certain situations you might find yourself this week; check out who’s there, and why, and how that reflects on you. Are the “canaries” dead or just having a wild time? That should give you some idea of whether it’s safe to stay, or time to get the hell out—or whether sticking around has just the right level of risk and adventure.
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
You should be able to be fully you, uncensored and unrestricted, with the people around you. That doesn’t mean exercising all your meanest and most sadistic impulses without restraint; just that unduly holding yourself back from your full potential because other people can’t handle it is unhealthy on many levels. Is that happening? If so, find a solution right away. It could be as simple as simply asking whoever’s holding you back to mind their own business and just cut it out. However, it could also turn out to be as painful—if liberating—as cutting them out.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
One of your best qualities is not taking yourself too seriously. If there’s a laugh to be had, even at your own expense, you’ll usually want to make sure people get it. That’s awfully sweet and generous of you, and just the kind of quality that you’ll want to go out of your way to display this week. It’s much more likely to impress and attract people than showing off any of your many stellar qualities ever could. The ability to laugh at yourself is highly underrated, and, apparently, very attractive. Keep that in mind this week.