Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
Here’s the problem with screwing up: sometimes the punishments for your mistakes never end. Let’s say it’s something serious that puts you in prison. Even after you’ve served your time and paid your debt to society, you might continue to suffer for the error you made. This can happen on a personal level, too. Putting in your time is something you shouldn’t shirk. You could even put in a little extra out of the goodness of your heart if you’re feeling especially penitent. But at some point, enough’s enough. When enough isn’t enough for someone else, though, it may simply be time to cut your losses and move on.
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)
Hopefully you got through the holidays without encountering that ugly sense of entitlement some people wear when they don’t get what they think they deserve. Although forgivable (but still unpleasant) in children, it’s a misery to deal with in an adult. It also needs to be corrected—an exceedingly tricky thing to do. However, letting bad behavior stand—or worse, be rewarded—is a horrible idea. Since you’re the only one in a position to conceivably say or do anything about it, please do so. Be gentle—for your own sake as well as theirs—but don’t be cowardly. Just do it.
Aries (March 21-April 19)
I’m judgmental when people cheat at games. Of course, it’s “just a game,” but cheating invalidates the whole point of playing. I just don’t get it. I’ll win fair and square, or I’ll lose. Obviously, not everyone shares my philosophy, but I suspect most of you Rams are in my camp. Although your competitive spirit may have driven you to cheat once or twice in your life, you probably quickly realized how empty and lame such victories are, and how bad you feel afterwards. Someone you know may have yet to arrive at such a revelation. Help them along, won’t you?
Taurus (April 20-May 20)
Sometimes, we just get stuck. But life is change. No matter your predicament, you can get unstuck from it—although perhaps not in the way you’d prefer or expect. It might be time to consider much more creative and surprising routes out than those you’ve tried so far. Of course, part of being stuck is having a hard time concocting such escape routes. Therefore, it may be time to throw your problem into the lap of an inspired friend or two—then take what they suggest to heart, even if it’s not something you particularly want to hear or do. You want to get unstuck, don’t you? Just do it.
Gemini (May 21-June 20)
Never underestimate the power of that little social lubricant popularly known as booze. Although often destructive, ugly, and gross, in reasonable quantities it can actually improve life by helping people overcome pointless inhibitions and insecurities. How many wonderful unions had their origins in a fortuitous glass of wine, without which one or the other would never have had the courage to make the first move? It might be just the catalyst you need this week to help make something happen. I’m not talking about getting trashed—and obviously if you have problems with alcohol you’ll simply have to find another strategy—but a drink or two to boost your resolve or make you more spontaneous could actually change your life this week.
Cancer (June 21-July 22)
Don’t be too rigid. Refusing an invitation to something you really want to go to because your name was misspelled on it would be unbelievably persnickety, wouldn’t you agree? Unfortunately, Cancers are occasionally prone to such outrageously over-the-top moments of fussiness regarding seemingly inconsequential details. Usually, in retrospect, you can see how silly you were being, but in the moment it’s often very hard to recognize or acknowledge. However, having been forewarned that you may be just that ridiculous this week, you’ll be more likely to avoid or curtail such incidents. Pay attention! If you have even half a clue that you might be getting too worked up over something small, back down immediately.
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)
There’s nothing more relaxed-seeming than a sleeping housecat. And yet they can spring into action and full alertness on a moment’s notice. Leos are like that, too. Lazy and relaxed much of the time, but when faced with the proper stimuli or motivation, you big cats will come alive like nobody’s business. Recognize that about yourself. You don’t have many gears. In fact, you mostly only have two. You’re either languishing in neutral or gunning the engine full throttle. That’s both asset and drawback. The key to making it more strength than weakness? Acknowledge it.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
If someone invented a pair of smart jeans that subtly reconfigured themselves to flatter the body of whoever wore them, they’d be instantly rich. If the jeans could automatically downplay a fat ass (or accentuate a flat one), make legs look longer or more slender, and so on, they’d be incredibly popular. Clothing may not yet be that intelligent, but people certainly are. Want someone to want you around? Be that perfect pair of jeans. Make their flaws look better and highlight their assets. Only you can, because only you can see them so clearly.
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)
Librans generally try to avoid conflict, but that gets you into trouble at least as often as it keeps you out of it. In some cases, disagreements are quite simply inevitable. When you try to stay out of the fight, it sometimes festers or simmers until it becomes so big that you can’t escape it anymore. A small confrontation at the get-go would have averted a much bigger, more dramatic blow-out further down the line. That’s the case this week. The argument you’re avoiding can only get bigger and worse. Have it out now—or wait until later when the fallout will be at least ten times as bad. Your choice.
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
Cynicism, masquerading as realism, can really hold you back right now. Hey, you don’t need to become Pollyanna all of a sudden. But your “can’t-do” attitude isn’t helping things one tiny little bit. Wouldn’t you like to be pleasantly surprised by a success you didn’t think possible? Since such a thing is definitely in the realm of possibility—provided no one’s being a negative bitch—I say buckle down and get it done. If you can’t force yourself to believe in a positive outcome, at least shut up and keep from dragging down those who do.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-DEC.21)
It’s relatively easy to learn the basics of the English language. Becoming truly fluent, and employing its many nuances and colorful idioms, however, is something few non-native speakers ever achieve. These phrases are often nonsensical, illogical, and downright preposterous. And yet they’re wonderful, too. There’s a person in your life who fits this description. It’s easy to get to know them superficially; but truly understanding them means embracing the wonderful absurdity they represent—something very few are even capable of. You happen to be one of these lucky few. If I were you, I’d dive in without hesitation.
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
Eating healthfully is a tremendous challenge for most Americans. Given the prevalence of truly unhealthy foods and portions, as well as the popularity of terrible eating habits, that’s no surprise. Unfortunately, unhealthy eating is especially a problem for you Capricorns. That’s not to say you’re especially likely to get fat—that’s more genetic than astrological—just that you may have a hard time finding a proper and healthy balance for your body. It’s simply not high on your list of priorities—certainly not as high as it should be, and you know it. This is a good week, however, to reassess and reorganize that list. Make sure staying healthy ends up at least a few spots higher.