Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
Indulge yourself. Capricorns have just as much a taste for luxury and hedonistic delight as your Taurean cousins, but you’re less likely to let yourself go there. This week, however, there’s nothing more vital than simply taking (and sharing) pleasure in your life. Make that your focus. Forget about work (as much as you can, anyway), and indulge your most hedonistic fantasies. Then, if/when you do decide to get back to work, remember what you learned (and hopefully enjoyed learning) this week; all work and no play make you dull, but the opposite isn’t necessarily true; All play and no work can, occasionally, be very good for you.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
Distance may make the heart grow fonder. I don’t know. It certainly seems to make the heart grow more jealous. Sometimes trust is harder to sustain when people are out of sight—what could they be getting up to? However, it’s important to extend it anyway. Yes, this means you will occasionally get burned, but if all that was keeping that from happening was your watchful eye, those who’d burn you were hardly worth the kind of emotional investment you were making. If there’s no trust, there’s no point continuing. Extend that trust—or get the hell out.
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)
I hope that instead of throwing away that hideous sweater Aunt Gertrude gave you, you can save it for an ugly sweater party, or just wear it with pride, irony, and a sense of humor. Sometimes it’s enough to simply graciously accept a gift in the spirit it was given, instead of rushing to the store to exchange it for something you actually want. If you can find a way to enjoy what you’ve received without negatively comparing it to a list of what you really wanted, you’ll be happier—and so will those who gave it to you.
Aries (March 21-April 19)
Sometimes you get more than you bargained for. You might be ready for one baby, but shocked when you get triplets instead. What would you do in that scenario? Naturally, I’d expect that you’d simply share what you had for one kid between the three and do the best you could until you were able to get the other stuff you needed. You certainly wouldn’t put two of the kids up for adoption. When your cup overfloweth this week—to the point of flooding your house—don’t freak out. It’s natural to be overwhelmed, but remember to see this blessing for what it is, not something designed to wear you down.
Taurus (April 20-May 20)
It’s common knowledge that children develop at their own paces, and conventional wisdom is to mostly let that unfold as it will. If one baby starts walking at 11 months, but another waits until a month or two after her first birthday, that’s okay. Hey, guess what? The same goes for adults, only we’re much less likely to give ourselves permission to take on stuff at our own speed. Give yourself (and others) that leeway. Expecting everyone to keep up with you (or you to keep up with the rest) will just lead to disappointment and resentment. Give everyone (including yourself) the time they need to get there. That’s a happier scenario overall—and in terms of results, it’ll work just fine.
Gemini (May 21-June 20)
You know how easy it is to push yourself too hard. While recent events have certainly required that you burn the candle at both ends a bit, you also need to rest. Surprisingly, this week should afford you ample opportunity to catch up on your beauty sleep. However, it also presents many chances to keep going full throttle. Foregoing these, however, won’t have the same negative consequences as if you’d skipped out on Christmas (or something like that). When the choice comes between recharging your batteries or heading out to yet another thing, choose wisely.
Cancer (June 21-July 22)
In the old days, people would duel to resolve conflict. These matches always had rules (“Count out 12 paces, then turn and shoot!”), but naturally they relied on honor to function as intended. Surely, many people must have been tempted to turn on the eleventh step and just pull the trigger. You are experiencing something like that temptation right now, aren’t you? Don’t do it. It may seem foolish not to pull the trigger right away, but it’s quite simply not the right thing to do. Win this fight or get what you want honorably; going any other route will make you so miserable you wouldn’t be able to enjoy the outcome at all.
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)
Sometimes it feels like your internal shine is so radiant that you can’t help but attract people to you. However, remember that most of that glow is what’s reflected back at you by the people you surround yourself with. The adoration of a handful of friends is a lot more flattering than standing alone in a spotlight. The spotlight is trash and should never be courted. Your friends, however, are gold—and no effort should be too great to let them know how much you love them. Their affection will make you happier than a spotlight ever could—and glow brighter, too, though that’s hardly the point.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
You work and work to make something happen, anticipating that once it does, you’ll be really happy. When it finally comes to fruition, however, you’re more disappointed than delighted; it just wasn’t what you expected. Of course, you’re not to blame, really. There was no way to know what this place looked like until you got here. Now that you’ve arrived, though, there’s no point in wishing for the days of yore. This is where all your paths must now begin, like it or not—where they end, though, is still as open and variable as it ever was.
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)
Quit procrastinating in 2010. The tasks you’ve been putting off have really started to pile up lately, like a snowball rolling downhill: The more shit you have hanging over you, the more likely you’ll be too demoralized or exhausted to take on new tasks; they get added to your multiplying To Do List instead. Tap into your energy reserves and enter a frenzied round of activity to get that crap done this week. Then reduce the list to a post-it note. If you can’t fit what you need to do on a scrap of paper that size, you need to do it right away, period. No more excuses—just get shit done, already.
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
Instead of relentlessly trying to dull your sting, in a misbegotten attempt to become a kinder, gentler, less scary person, sharpen it instead. Rather than dampening your power, you ought to be getting better at choosing when and how to employ it. That sting of yours is a frightening tool that occasionally can be put to great use. Of course, most of your bad astrological rep has been earned by flagrant and passionate misuse of it—the remedy, however, is a change in behavior, not a negation of some of what makes you who you are.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
Winning by itself doesn’t make you great. It’s who you win against that shows your worth. It’s easy to beat a bunch of kindergarten kids at basketball, and such a victory isn’t likely to earn you much respect. However, if you held your own in a Celtics game, that’d be a different story. This week, your eyes should not be on the prize so much as on the competition. You need to find some that’s worthy of you. Fail to do that, and you might as well not bother winning at all; your victory would be meaningless, or worse—embarrassing.