Cancer (June 21-July 22)
Consider abundance this week. American culture is based on an economy of scarcity, despite the fact that we’re arguably one of the richest countries in the world. You’d really have to try hard, however, to miss noticing the mounds of blessings heaped at your feet this week, a veritable cornucopia of luck, love and even stuff. What to do with this bounty? Enjoy it, of course—but also spread it around. There are a lot of people who won’t know how lucky they are until you rub their faces in good fortune, and I want you to do it.
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)
For the most part, your friends tolerate your royal attitude, but they don’t revel in it. They don’t get that you’re not trying to lord anything over anyone. Quite the opposite. You’re just trying to show them another way to be. Avoid getting (more of) a superiority complex. But don’t let the peasants pull you down to their grimy level, either. Simply elevate them to yours. We can all be royalty. In this spirit, issue knighthoods, earldoms and duchies to as many of your friends as want them. It doesn’t have to be lonely at the top.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
Have you ever kept a journal? “Why bother?” you may ask. “My incredible memory provides a remarkably accurate record of events.” That may be true, but maintaining a chronicle of your life isn’t the reason I recommend the practice—even an eidetic memory can’t match a journal in painting a clear picture of how your brain works, over time: your invisible patterns and habits of mind. From this thought-map you can extract the technology you need to use yourself more efficiently and happily, to exploit your strengths and neutralize your weaknesses. Understanding yourself is one of your primary goals in life, right? Well, here’s a tool toward that end. Pick up a pen and start writing.
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)
Assuming you’ve experienced past lives, it’s been ages since you spent one as an ant, wolf, flamingo or Egyptian slave. Cooperating in a project that requires submission to (and sometimes death in the name of) the group is as foreign to you as Sanskrit. At least, that’s how it looks. You have a talent for helping people, but not for downplaying your ego. Ants devour whole forests, wolves kill prey much larger than themselves, flamingos confound their enemies through sheer numbers and slaves built inconceivable pyramids. If you can put aside your personal shit–-even for just a week–-and work for “the greater good,” what might you accomplish?
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
To explain to yourself how you feel this week, imagine you’re snorkeling in Thailand. Suddenly the way you seem able to exist only at the fringes of a colorful, serene and exotic world makes at least a little more sense. So you can only thrust your face into the realm you crave, still connected to your old reality through a stubby breathing tube. Just remember: the limits of your participation are only one-way. You can carry the world you can barely enter completely inside you, like a precious gem that refracts light and changes how you see and react to everything else.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
I wish I could just write you a love letter every week, full of praise and adoration. You deserve it. But I fear it would make you complacent, unable or unwilling to grasp the opportunities that will lead you to fulfilling your true potential. That wouldn’t be the best way to love you, would it? So instead I deliver these well-intentioned kicks in the butt. How could I not, when you’re so close to living out the dream you first had years ago? Here’s the steel tip of my boot contacting your pert derriere: every single thing that happens this week is an opportunity. Consider each event—”good” or “bad”—a rung on the ladder leading to your goal. Start climbing.
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
You’re like a fast car that’s slammed on the brakes. Suddenly, your insides are battling your outsides. It’s because your dreams have their own inertia. Unless you really do intend to send your ambitions hurtling through the windshield, I suggest you find another way to avoid the jam your wise, practical exterior perceived. Remember, when it comes to wish fulfillment, you can make your own rules. Grow wings and fly over the stalled cars of everyone else’s neglected plans. Or ignore them completely. Just convert your already fat tires into tank treads and forge your own off-road path.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
It’d be hard for a jet surpassing the speed of sound to know what impact its passage had—by the time the sonic blast hit, the plane itself would be long gone. Likewise, the speed of your own movement makes it hard to keep tabs on whom it might affect and in what way. That is, until you hear about it later. Don’t bother acting contrite or feeling guilty—it’s meaningless when everyone knows you would (and will, probably) do it again. Don’t even consider slowing down. You’d be insulting yourself to not use your own talents. Use ’em or lose ’em. So quit looking so remorseful. Just help clean up the shit you messed up, and be on your way.
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)
As I entered the incredibly quiet meditation chamber, I realized I’d never quite experience true silence again. My ears rang—so loudly that it almost seemed that other people should be able to hear the ringing. It’d been so long since I’d been in a truly silent place that I had no idea how bad my tinnitus had become. This week, you, too, may be surprised by how far an internal movement you set into motion long ago has been allowed to progress, unchecked. This isn’t necessarily bad. For example, after I got over my initially negative reaction to the internal protests of my damaged hearing, I could hear a strange sort of beauty in it: like a distant orchestra of violins, bagpipes and lawnmowers, creating a symphony in honor of my history.
Aries (March 21-April 19)
I’m not here to burst your bubble, Aries. Unlike some other signs, when your head swells to blimp size and bobs above your shoulders like a shiny red balloon, it’s kind of cute. Who wouldn’t be psyched in your place? Surrounded by friends who really adore you, cheered by the success that’s already behind you and the promise of more that looms ahead—it’d be hard for anyone to stay humble under the circumstances. Just don’t forget your sense of humor. In fact, that’s the “muscle” you should be using more than any other. It’s the only thing that’ll make your ego flexible enough to resist deflation when faced with the occasional needle-prick of reality.
Taurus (April 20-May 20)
This week I picture you doing one of two things. You could be conducting a grand orchestra of nature: Winds howl! Clouds sweep majestically across the sky! Sun trumpets through in brassy spears of light! Or, you could just sit on your ass, watching nature documentaries and the Weather Channel. Don’t be lame. This week’s a golden opportunity to forget about Who You’ve Been and practice being Who You Want To Be. Practice is key for a creature of habit like you. Do it enough, and Who You Want To Be will be Who You’ve Been before you know it.
Gemini (May 21-June 20)
Once someone notices a wasp in her midst, it’s hard to not pay attention to it, or deal with it in some way. It’s hard to feel comfortable sharing a room with a capricious, stinging insect. You sometimes have the same difficulty going unnoticed. In this way, your compelling presence occasionally works against you. However you may be thrilled to discover that, this week, your personal power is less like those dramatic beasts that are other sign’s symbols—like scorpions, lions, and bulls–-and more like those creatures that know how to blend in: chameleons, leopards, fawns and con artists among them.