Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
If anyone has hope of overcoming the bullshit True Love Programming we’ve all been trained to believe in, and live by, it’s you, Aquarius. What are the solid elements of partnership, the ones that can outlast the fickle ebb and flow of sexual desire and romantic passion? And how to find the partners who are willing to meet you there, sex or no sex? It’s a tricky, slippery slope, and whether or not you ascribe to this path or philosophy in the long-term, I’m confident that by spending this week paying attention to questions like these, you’ll get at least one or two gems that will improve every relationship you have, from here on out.
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)
I want to remind you, with love, of the power of your internal contradictions, which you more often let baffle you than enlighten you. This coming year, keep in mind that when you’re at your worst, you’re also, perversely, closer to being at your best than at most other times. When you’re experiencing one of life’s darker moments, the veil between you and serenity is actually thinner than usual. Put it this way—the deep hole you’re in at those moments is actually the hollow interior of a mountain on the other side of your inner planet. Dig through and you’ll be on top your world again.
Aries (March 21-April 19)
The evening news is all about fear. Start noticing that their nightly message is a litany of new things for you to worry about or be afraid of. The vast majority of these things will never happen to you, and fretting won’t make them less likely in any case. Cut the newscast—and anything else that adds to the sum total of your fears—from your psychic diet. Make absolute fearlessness your goal. Anything that doesn’t fall under the lean guideline of “reasonable caution” is health-destroying mental fat, so eliminate it. Then go have fun, because what else is left to do?
Taurus (April 20-May 20)
The smoky lenses of your perception have steadily darkened all winter, leaving your world shrouded in layers of frigid cynicism. Now, with spring imminent, the load of doubt weighing you down will melt, giving you the chance to send forth new shoots, and new branches and new leaves, ready to soak up sunlight, love, and the other things that nurture you. They’re also able to generate buds which will, in time, burst open abundantly, into exotic blooms the likes of which you’ve never seen before, let alone produced. But we’re getting ahead of ourselves. This week, find your neglected hope and start nurturing it. When the glacier pinning you evaporates in the coming weeks, I want you to be ready to explode with new growth and innocence.
Gemini (May 21-June 20)
You’re a hippo in a deliciously cool mud wallow. That’s not some weird commentary on your weight; I’m referring to your state of mind. You have immense reasons to be content, comfortable, at ease. No one’s going to mess with you right now, and you’ve got everything you need at hand. So why wander from the wallow? You’ll be missing something soon enough, and have to return to the hunt, or the search, or a familiar state of longing. Why go there prematurely? Enjoy what you’ve got, and don’t pollute it with the greed of wanting more. Got it, Gemini? It’s quite simple. Just wallow.
Cancer (June 21-July 22)
Like the other water signs, you’re blessed with seven secret senses that the rest of us can only guess at. You’ll need to rely on them, especially the equivalent of your emotional sonar and radar, since the dangers and opportunities swimming past you through the aether are invisible to the naked eye, disguised as people you’d never notice, let alone bat a flirtatious eyelash at. Trust the fluttery sensations at the edges of sight and under your skin. This week, they’re what’ll keep you safe.
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)
With the Sun swimming in the glimmering waters of the Piscean Sea you’re even more inclined than usual to relish the glamour of things you can’t understand, to be drawn to mystery, and surrender to the unknowable. Just one warning or promise, before you wade in over your head: the places you’re wanting to go will probably be good for you, but may also require a huge shift of personal paradigm. What I mean is, for months or years now you’ve kept the royal coin of your kingdom POWER side up. If you truly want to venture into these new territories, it’s time to flip that coin. The other side, of course, says: LETTING GO.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
Don’t be too zealous about guarding your personal space this week. Astrological influences indicate you’re going to have to just deal with elbows in your side on the subway or unwelcome hangers-on at the office or kids in leech mode, or go quite mad trying to fend them all off. Hey, it’s inconvenient, but it could be worse. People want and need to be close to you; it’s unfortunate that it’s closer than you’d like, but you have to admit it’s still better than everyone giving you a wide berth and not approaching you at all. In other words, try to see it this way: a little too much is better than none at all.
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)
Have you lost hope? Don’t let those arguments convince you that to persist now would be like throwing tons of time and energy into a black hole from which nothing will ever, ever emerge. But fighting it head-on would also be a mistake. There’s only one way to move through the powerful gravity of these insanely heavy thoughts—surrender to them, but keep a tight grip on the psychic-silk dragline to your determination and hope. Say: “You’re right. This will probably all end in tragedy. But I’m going for it anyway, full-on, in case there’s a chance it won’t.” That chance does exist—but only if you believe in it.
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
Two key parts of the Scorpionic diet are stomach butterflies and the kind of hackle-raising shivers you get when you’re terrified and walking into a haunted moonlit graveyard, or a new love, or the end of a beloved chapter of your life. Unfortunately, lately you’ve been starving. You’re practically wasting away. Well, Scorpio, it’s your own fault. You’ve been passing the seedy alleys and dark hearts that thrill and deliciously devastate you. This week, start exploring derelict places, and tempting yourself with forbidden fruits. Whether or not you actually find any hidden treasure or eat any exotic produce, you’ll have cured, finally, your spiritual anorexia.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
Obsession. It’s a mental trip you Sags are all but immune to, at least compared to most of the other signs. But when it strikes you, it’s just as intense as it is for those single-minded Aries or nervous Virgos. You need the sun you’re drawn to. You crave its warmth and beneficence. But you also need some protection from it, or you’ll go blind with longing. So take a careful step back, don some shades, slather on some psychic sunscreen, and go bask in deliciousness, instead of frying in ridiculousness.
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
This week, you’ve got an amazing opportunity to set up your next seven steps in any direction, and a reasonable assurance that all will conform exactly to design. Seven steps may not seem like much to most people, but you and I know that your ability to accurately plot into the future has been extremely limited lately, so more than a half dozen stages of a plan going precisely right is an incredible luxury. Recent distractions have made you fall behind the schedule you created for yourself at the beginning of the year. Now’s your chance to catch up and get back on track. Don’t waste it.
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