Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)
Although superficially Leos can often seem high-maintenance, fragile, and even prissy, you’re actually arguably the strongest sign in the zodiac. When push comes to shove, you know how to stand your ground, and nothing can really knock you down for long. Remember that, even if you’re feeling weak and vulnerable. Don’t believe the tabloid-esque hype that’s flying around about you. You’re better than that. You don’t have to prove it to anyone else. Screw them, if they’re stupid enough to believe that shit. Proving it yourself, however–that might be a worthwhile use of your time.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
We humans are more instinctual creatures than you think. Most of us, many times a day, respond to various stimuli without really thinking about it. We often react unconsciously to people based on their appearance, scent, and so on, rather than their intentions or actions. Your problem is you expect everyone to be as rational as you are, and to not act like the animals we essentially are. Unfortunately, that’s simply not the case. Follow the lead of certain politicians this week–when reasoned arguments won’t get you what you want, play to their basest instincts instead.
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)
Some things simply can’t be easily undone. You can get an embarrassing tattoo removed, for instance, but the process is imperfect, painful and expensive. Undoing a break-up can be all of those and more. Un-quitting a job is almost never possible. Of course it’s consequences like that which are often at the root of your indecisiveness, but not in the way you think. Because certain decisions are virtually irreversible, you start to dither over all decisions as if they were. This one, however, is not. Sure, there’ll be consequences either way, but nothing you can’t live with or work around. So get to it: make up your mind.
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
Do you believe in soulmates, Scorpio? Or are you already too cynical to embrace the concept? Is there really some special person out there with whom you’d be perfectly compatible, throughout your lives? Let’s assume it’s possible, for the sake of argument. What, then, are your chances of finding your “other half?” And what about all those lovely people you’re 80-95 percent compatible with? Is it really worth rejecting them because they don’t quite live up to this ideal imaginary perfect partner (who may not even exist)? Only you can answer those questions, and while you’re at it, ask yourself this: Ultimately, is your belief (or lack thereof) in a soulmate helping or hurting you?
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
What you’re feeling must, this week, play second fiddle to what you’re doing. It doesn’t matter whether you’re euphoric or exhausted, angry or mournful, miserable or horny. Expressing yourself, in this case, is futile. You’ve just got to do what you’ve got to do, and your long-term situation has to take precedence over your short-term one. The bad news is you may have to ignore or set aside how you’re feeling, for the moment. The good news is that those feelings won’t last long, anyway, and once they’re gone, you’ll be immensely grateful (to yourself) that you didn’t make a huge stink about them.
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
The ever-changing big picture may be in remarkably clear focus for you, but some of your friends or colleagues might be surprisingly clueless. They’re apt to respond strongly to whatever sliver of the situation they’re privy to, with little awareness of how their actions might affect everyone else involved. Fill them in, or cut them off–whichever strategy will minimize the damage done by their blundering. It might seem harsh or condescending, but I promise–once they can see what you can see, they’ll be swooning with respect, admiration, and even gratitude to you, for keeping them in check.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
See those bulldozers rumbling towards your house and at least some of the things you love? Don’t bother lying down in front of them. They’ll just run over you. Squish, squish. While I admire your fortitude and bravery, they won’t do you much good. What’s needed here is patience, wiliness and subterfuge, if you want your opposition to be even remotely effective. I choose to believe there’s a way you can triumph against the people and ideas you object to, but you have to wait for the right moment, and do exactly the right thing–preferably something that doesn’t involve putting yourself directly in harm’s way.
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)
Resist the temptation to wallow. While staring at the wall and feeling very sorry for yourself is a wonderful way to spend the day, you lack the luxury of that kind of self-indulgent self-pity this week. Take five minutes right now to remember eleven brilliant things about your life, things you love. Even if they’re totally eclipsed by all the other shit you’ve got going on, focus on them anyway. If just coming up with eleven totally fantastic things to think about is a problem, you’ve really got to light a fire under your ass, because clearly you’ve been doing too much wallowing and not enough doing. Snap out of it. Time to get to work.
Aries (March 21-April 19)
Naturally, you despise feeling helpless. There is a certain liberty in it, however. Being able to let go and feel truly free is actually an enormous gift, and when there’s nothing you can do anyway, that’s an enormous opportunity. Stop railing against the inevitable. You’re just throwing away time and energy. What’s going to happen will happen regardless of what you do. Accept that, won’t you? It’ll be such a relief when you do, I promise. Besides, once you cease struggling against the things you have no power over, you’ll find you have tremendous energy for everything else.
Taurus (April 20-May 20)
Don’t destroy the things that are troubling you. They can’t be gotten rid of that easily, in any case. Rather than contemplating their destruction, consider their transformation. One man’s trash is another’s treasure, right? A problem for you might be a blessing for someone else. Transmute your troubles into treasures. Look for the people who’d eagerly and joyfully take them off your hands. They’re out there, believe it or not. You might be able to lovingly pawn off all your problems this way, but you should be able to ditch a few, making the ones you’re forced to hang on to that much easier to bear.
Gemini (May 21-June 20)
Give yourself a break. Get someone to put their arm around your shoulders, lend you a sympathetic ear, and then have yourself a good cry. After twenty minutes of sharing your misery with someone who’s willing to be there for you, you probably won’t have solutions to your problems, but I guarantee you’ll feel more able to tackle them, nevertheless. When was the last time you laid down your burdens? Too long ago, I’ll wager. This week, remove the world from your shoulders and set it down for a while. Ask someone to help you keep it from rolling away. Then relax as you haven’t for years. It’s overdue.
Cancer (June 21-July 22)
Usually, you feel safe and secure behind your crablike emotional shell, behind which almost no one ever gets to venture. Sometimes though, something happens to put a crack in it, and suddenly it’s like the curtains have been drawn back, and you’re standing there naked in fluorescent light, for all the world to see. But wait. Quit your frantic struggles to cover your bits. No one’s running away in horror. Hardly anyone’s laughing, either. Most people are looking at you with understanding and compassion. A few might even think you’re hot. Stop imagining negativity that isn’t there, and give yourself the acceptance, appreciation, and delight that others would give you, if you only gave them a chance.
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