Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
Things have gotten much too complicated to bother with anymore, haven’t they? Why not just throw your hands in the air, let it go, and walk away? Screw that. Let’s not forget the fact that this situation won’t disappear that easily. Let’s also recall that a while back you decided (correctly) that the path you’re on is the right one for you, even if it’s hard. Luckily, there’s a way to look at all of this that will allow you to move forward without feeling knotted in a hopeless tangle of complications. It might require a dramatic shift in perspective. However, I reckon that even if getting a better angle on the situation is difficult, it’d still be easier and more desirable than escaping it.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
You prefer being consistent in certain ways (and wildly unpredictable in others). However, it’s not in the stars for you to be a paragon of reliability this week. There are too many extraneous factors for you to keep track or control of. Do your best, but don’t be too hard on yourself when you have to make exceptions to what are normally hard and fast rules. Your rep as a dependable rock (though one prone to occasional exciting earthquakes and explosions) may suffer ever so slightly, but never fear; you’ll have many chances to repair it in February.
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)
You have a fascinating relationship to change. Sometimes you play the catalyst of revolution, and surf tsunamis of turbulent transformation with gleeful abandon. Other times you sense the tide turning and you run for the hills, strapping on the status quo like a pair of swim floaties. No one – least of all me – can accurately predict how you’ll react to the choppy waters of change. However, you could do us a favor and clue us in to what you’ll do this time around – especially those who actually share your day-to-day life. A warning or assurance regarding which way you’ll sail when the winds shift would be mighty nice right about now.
Aries (March 21-April 19)
A week into 2019 and you’re already disappointed. I get it. You thought things would be different by now, but let’s face it: Although you made some effort, you didn’t work that hard to manifest change in your life. However, it’s not too late. If you get your ass in gear right now, January won’t be a total wash. I mean today. Wait another day and you might as well wait a month, or a year, or ten years. When is it that you’ll actually move forward with your plans? How long have you already waited? Only you can decide how much longer you’ll keep waiting. If it were up to me, you’d have put your plan into action yesterday.
Taurus (April 20-May 20)
Relax. As much as you can, just chill out. I know you like to be prepared, but some things you simply can’t practice ahead of time. You just have to do the best you can, the first and only time they happen. There are milestones like this throughout your life – losing your virginity, having a baby, and, eventually, dying. Stop angsting about them. You can’t effectively anticipate or practice these things. You just have to roll with them whenever they occur. You’ve done all the prepwork you can for whatever’s on the horizon. Now you just have to wait for it to happen, and try not to have a nervous breakdown in the meantime. Go take a bath. You’ll be fine.
Gemini (May 21-June 20)
You’re definitely over-thinking things. (What else is new?) Instead of endlessly fretting about and planning around a hopelessly complex “what if” scenario (that hasn’t even happened yet, mind you), relax. Assume everything will play out as simply as it possibly could, even if that seems highly unlikely to you. Prepare for that, no more. Even if it doesn’t work out that painlessly, your improvisations at the time will be far more elegant and successful than whatever painstaking measures you may have taken beforehand. Keep it simple; it’s easier, less stressful, and it’ll work better.
Cancer (June 21-July 22)
Hey, could I have five bucks? No? Fine. Just don’t get pissed off that I asked, since you’ll likely be hit up for a lot this week, by friends and strangers. Many people have no qualms about asking for shit they have no right to, or deluding themselves that it’s theirs by right. You know better, but don’t hate them for not being as smart as you. You learned your lesson by stepping over lines and having your wrist slapped (or occasionally worse). See if you can gently pass along the same wisdom this week.
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)
Stop saying no to stuff. Having clearly defined boundaries is great, but you’ve been defending them rather habitually of late, and rather too zealously. Try to be more flexible. It’s nice to bend the rules for those you love; they certainly do it for you more frequently than you care to admit. The next time someone asks you for something that’s over a line you’ve drawn, don’t say, “No,” automatically. Consider what it would cost you (in the short- and long-term) to make this one small concession. I think you’ll find the price is one that’s very easy to bear, and the potential rewards too great to pass up.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
Just when I think you’ve gotten over the worrying habit, you come up with some preposterous new anxiety to fret about. Fine. What you do inside your own head is your own business, naturally. However, once you start letting it dictate your actions, it’s time for an intervention. Hopefully your friends are inviting you over for one right now, but just in case they’re not, I’ll do my best from here. Some of the measures you’re taking are as outlandish as refusing to drink water because you’re afraid of drowning. Stop that shit. Drink the damn water, and quit curbing your actions based on irrational fears.
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)
Do you live in terror of germs? Probably not. You’ve found that reasonable caution (washing your hands once in a while, using condoms, etc) will do for the most part to keep you safe. Your healthy attitude regarding bacteria and viruses is laudable, but it makes me even more surprised by your extreme paranoia regarding something even smaller and harder to pin down (or inoculate yourself against) than germs: ideas. There’s only so much you can (or should) do to protect yourself against those. If, after all, your own philosophies deteriorate when presented with somebody else’s viewpoint, perhaps it wasn’t that solid to begin with. Rather than trying to protect weak, crumbling foundations from the erosive forces of critical thought, perhaps you should think about building them anew, on more solid ground.
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
Can you be part of a team, Scorpio? Usually, you prefer to play the loner and do your own thing. That strategy doesn’t work so well when forced to join a group, though. Even if you contribute your all, you have to be careful; if people think that whatever you’re doing makes them look like lazy slobs, they won’t thank you for it, even if it makes the group more successful overall. I’m not suggesting you gimp yourself in order to make your sorry collaborators look better, but this week please see how you can give a lot to the group without taking anything away from them, especially not their pride.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
To most people you’re a doer, not a dreamer. You and I know the truth, though. When it comes to implementing bold plans that don’t require anything more from you than hopping on a plane or into bed with someone, you’re ace. Things that require more time, commitment, patience, and consistency, however, tend to get put on the backburner forever. We both know what I’m talking about – the unwritten screenplays, abandoned workout regimes, undelivered proposals, and so on. Darling, the back burner has so many things on it by now that it can’t possibly keep even half of them warm. It’s time to pull at least one of those long-delayed projects to the forefront and at last, finally make it happen.
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