Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)
In some cases, signs opposite each other on the zodiac wheel aren’t so different–Leos and Aquarians, for example, are in many ways quite similar. You and your opposing sign, Virgo, however, have little common ground. They embrace organization, order, activity, and efficiency, and see chaos as a thing to tame. You, on the other hand, treasure your periods of inactivity, can be equally inspired or overwhelmed by chaos, and reject entirely the idea of exerting too much control over your reality. It’s not that one viewpoint is better than the other. It’s just that each has its own advantages. Given your situation this week, acting like a Virgo will serve you better than your usual M.O. ever could. Why don’t you try it?
Aries (March 21-April 19)
Different predators use different methods to catch their prey. Some lie patiently in wait for long periods. Others stalk their victims until they can catch them unawares. Some lay traps. Still others rely on greater strength or speed to simply run them down. And some, like the wiliest of your tribe, employ all of these strategies, and more, when in pursuit of what they want. Many of you, however, stick to the one or two methods that come most naturally, and thus miss out on lots of money, action, and fun. Exercise your versatility this week, Aries, and instead of using the same tired old game, try something that might actually work.
Taurus (April 20-May 20)
Is sex the glue that holds your relationship together (or kept previous connections from falling apart)? That’s not uncommon, and it’s certainly understandable. But it’s also why so many relationships fall apart when the sex ebbs (as it inevitably does), and why earnest post-break-up entreaties to “still be friends” so often fail. Is the person you love also someone you like? How much do you enjoy each other out of the sack? This is a good week to address those questions, and develop your connection outside the bedroom. I know “work on your friendship” is kind of boring advice this week, but guess what? If you do, the sex’ll get better, too.
Gemini (May 21-June 20)
If you’re still waiting for the stamp of approval from someone–your boss, pal, or lover–you’re deluding yourself, because it’s never going to happen. This doesn’t mean your idea is bad. It just means they’re not capable of wrapping their head around it, so they’re not going to be able to wholeheartedly support it. Sorry. As much as you’d like to have their encouragement and assistance, you’re on your own with this one. It’s kind of a test. How much do you believe in yourself? How much can you rely on yourself? The good news is that if you pull this one off, despite their doubts, you’ll probably have their cooperation the next time around.
Cancer (June 21-July 22)
You’re one of the three signs I understand best (probably just after my beloved Leos and Aries). Thus I have tons of compassion for you. I also have a powerful drive to push you, because I know that’s what you need, sometimes: that little extra shove to shake you out of a rut, jumpstart you into action, or simply wake you up. This week I want you to remember the times you’ve most been stuck, and how you’ve eventually gotten out of them. Who helped you? How? I don’t care if you’ve already done it, but go thank them, again, at once.
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)
Guilt is not a useful emotion here, especially because it’s regarding other feelings–none of which you can control. If you insist on invoking the whole remorse thing, apply it only to your actions, not your emotions. Above all, reject outside expectations. (For instance, I initially felt pretty guilty when I was more relieved and exhilarated than sad that a relationship was over; that was, however, mostly about ideas I had about what one was “supposed to” feel at the end of a relationship.) Feel what you feel, darling, without judging it one way or another, or complicating the situation with needless self-reproach. You deserve better.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
This week you might feel a bit like a submarine anchored to the ocean floor, and running out of air. Your mission, however, demands that you remain here just a little bit longer, so panicking would not serve you well. Anyway, everything’s actually fine at the moment; everyone’s got what they need to survive, if not thrive. It’s just that reserves are dangerously low and you can’t help worrying that they won’t suffice to do what you’ve got to do. Keep your cool. It’s probably going to be kind of a close thing. But you’ll pull through.
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)
Last night I dreamt you were doing some kind of belly dance striptease, a la Salomé. You had layers and layers of gauzy veils, which you tantalizingly pulled away until finally you yanked off the last two to reveal what you had on underneath: Granny’s unflattering flannel pajamas. I woke up laughing, but I could imagine those who wouldn’t; the ones who don’t share your sense of humor, or who can’t help being led on by their expectations. Be aware of these fellows, this week, Libra, because they could, if you let them, spoil your fun.
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
Even if you’re one of those Scorpios who loves it when it’s cold and snowy, and who resist complaining about winter weather, you still can’t help but look forward to Spring. Those first few hints–a warm breath of wind, a bit of birdsong–can make you hopeful and impatient for the whole deal. That makes every subsequent snowflake or patch of ice slightly frustrating. Does this sound familiar? You’ve been venturing happily into the unknown for ages now, but just a glimpse of the light at the end of the tunnel would probably have you sprinting for it. Am I right? Well, get ready to run, because just such a glimpse should glimmer forth this week.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
No one wakes up looking their best. For most of us, it takes a little while to get up to speed; we’ve got to shower, shit, fix our bedheads, and so on before we’re ready to put our best faces forward. So I don’t know why you’re expecting to jump right into your newest venture and perform at the top of your game. Would you enter a modeling contest fresh out of bed and still hung-over from the night before? This is much the same. Give yourself time to warm up, prepare, and get into it. If it’s a race and others pull ahead, so be it. You can work on catching up later. I’m still betting on you–and I doubt I’m the only one.
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
Although naturally there were popular Capricorns, many of your tribe mates weren’t part of the in-crowd when they were in school. In fact, I know lots of poor Goats who suffered horrible nicknames or humiliating situations back then. Most of them moved on, but others never forgot what it was like to feel like an outsider. Now that you’re most definitely an insider–at least in this one particular situation–please remember or imagine what it was like to be left out of that, and what you wished someone might have done for you. Then do exactly that for the one who needs (or deserves) it most.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
Still wishing for the body you had five years ago? Don’t you remember that five years back you were longing for the body you had five years before that? When will you be happy? Never, at this rate. No one has the “perfect” body. You’ll basically be content when you simply decide that what you’ve got isn’t so bad. This work, work on being at least satisfied (hell, go for overjoyed, if you can) with the hand you’re dealt. That shouldn’t keep you from making desired changes to improve things, but I guarantee you: change will come a lot easier if you’re happy, not disgruntled, while you go for it.
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