Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)
Nina Simone (a fellow Piscean) sang, so beautifully: “Like a flower waiting to bloom, like a light bulb in a dark room, I am sitting here waiting for you to come home and turn me on.” That made me think of you, because this kind of longing is a powerful force in your life right now. I envy you, actually. There’s someone special who’s patiently waiting for you to come turn them on, or vice versa. That’s a lucky and rare thing, sweetheart. Wherever that person is—that’s home. Go home, baby. Go home.
Aries (March 21-April 19)
Talk about feeling torn. The forces influencing you this week may stretch you to the point of snapping. The irony is, neither enthusiastic devotee has malicious intent; it’s your own popularity and desirability that’s the culprit. Spare your admirers, and yourself, the destructive backlash of you coming apart at the seams, by gently loosening their grips, especially one of them. That might mean making a choice you were unprepared for, but since you were likely to spoil one or both connections with a minor breakdown, go for damage control. This way you can save one, and possibly both.
Taurus (April 20-May 20)
Don’t let nostalgia screw you; A few months pass, and suddenly your tendency to romanticize the past destroys your equilibrium. That asshole you dated and dumped last year suddenly seems “not so bad.” You can’t remember, quite, what compelled you to cast off that dead weight. “Maybe,” you speculate, “I was being too picky.” No, you weren’t. Don’t trust your fickle memory this week, especially if it disagrees with your diary, or your closest compadres. The antidote to all this Vaseline-lensed reminiscence? Focus on the exciting promise of the future, or better yet, making those thrilling possibilities available to you NOW.
Gemini (May 21-June 20)
You remind me of a kid in a video game arcade with a pocket full of quarters. So blissfully dazed by all the flashing lights and sounds of music and explosions you hardly know where to turn next—you just know it’s going to be good. Except underneath all that joy and present glee, there’s the nagging worry that eventually all those quarters will be gone, and that “game over” sign will flash for the last time. Unfortunately, that’s life, baby. We all have a limited number of metaphorical quarters to spend. There’s no point in worrying about it. All you can do is plug them into a machine and enjoy the game as long as you can—therein, of course, lies the secret of life, at least this week.
Cancer (June 21-July 22)
You can’t bubble-wrap your heart through this one, baby. You’ve managed to protect it through a number of rough tumbles and scrapes by swaddling it in layers of insulation, but it’s time to open your chest and walk around with heart on sleeve, instead of trapped and sheltered inside the cage of your ribs. Believe me, it’s not as scary as it sounds; it’s actually exhilarating. You’ll notice colors, music, scents and flavors you’d swear you’ve never experienced before. And you’ll be that much closer, more accessible, and more available to the other delicious sensations coming your way. I can’t tell you more. It’d ruin the surprise.
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)
You swallowed a sword and forgot to pull it back out. Ouch. You’ve become so casual and offhand about devouring danger that now you’re faced with that thirty-three inch blade working its way through your system, the hard way. I wish I’d noticed it when you still could have grabbed the hilt and extricated yourself from this edgy situation, but now it’s too late. Seek out some astrological lube to swallow, quick. Not sure how to find it? It’s easily identifiable—anything (or anyone) that gives your stomach butterflies. Found some? If I were you, I’d lie down at that spring and drink deep, all week long.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
Virgo Macy Gray sang: “Sugar wishes don’t change what is real, or how it feels…” That’s your mantra this week, sweet baby. It’s good to have hopes and delicious desires, but just dreaming of them isn’t going to make them a reality, at least this week. You’ve got to deal with what’s real, and possibly work quite hard to make your fondest fantasies manifest. In other words, you get to do just what you’re good at; roll up your sleeves and sweat to make things happen—and consequently enjoy them more fervently and fully when they do.
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)
If I’m addicted to anything it’s books. For years, I was a devoted holdout, a rebellious lover of books printed on actual paper. But once I became open-minded enough to give eBooks a try, I gave up paper books, probably forever. The ease of reading in virtually any situation, from bright sunlight to total darkness, not to mentioned having my entire library on hand—I was sold. I’m not trying to convert you to eBooks (I’ll be happy if you read any kind of books at all). What I am trying to convince you of is that trying something new—something (or someone) you’ve been resistant to but secretly think you might like if you gave it a chance—would be the best thing you could do with your week.
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
You sometimes feel like you’re on a mighty lonely journey, eh, Scorpio? That you’ve been walking solo for just ages now, and the only people you pass are going in the opposite direction. But you’re not alone—you’re just late. All your sweet soul-companions have arrived, just ahead of you, at the oasis you’re approaching, and are patiently waiting for you to get there. Don’t expect huge crowds, only an elite few. But take heart—there’s a high likelihood that when you catch up to the group, you’ll find a remarkable and fascinating companion or three, to accompany you along the next stretch.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
If humans survive for another ten thousand years, at least segments of our species will be so transformed that they’ll be virtually unrecognizable as human. They will call into question exactly what it means to be human; whether our species is what it is because it retains a certain shape, or a certain method of thought, or certain philosophies. I got into this train of thought because I was thinking of how you’re going to wrap your mind around this week’s conundrums. The things you desire (and possibly need) are likely to be presented to you in unfamiliar shapes and packages. So what do you want? The present itself, or does the wrapping matter, too?
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
Watch out for those innocent tricksters, the Pisceans, this week, as they’re liable to fool you, big time, without even trying. In fact, they’ll be so guileless that you’ll end up, if you’re not careful, feeling like you fooled yourself. That could end up sending you on a bender, or at least a self-destructive wallow, and none of us needs that. There’s no need to be overcautious or excessively suspicious. But when a mischievous Pisces invites you to play one of their sweet games (which could be hilarious fun), make sure you just play, and don’t go so far that you get played.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
It’s not that you don’t have an emotional side—something you’re often ridiculously accused of lacking. This is because it sometimes seems that way, because of your exceptional ability to temporarily bypass even the most intense feelings to get shit done when necessary. However, the wisest of us never doubt for a second that you’re as deep as they come. While you could do without those idiots who think otherwise, it’s still in your best interest to not present such a stoic, practical face to the world. Emote. Let your softest, fuzziest side show. You might be amazed at who reaches out to touch it.
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