Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
You’ve got so many people on your side. Why can’t you see it? Your tendency to focus on your few detractors rather than your numerous supporters is not only mentally destructive self-sabotage, it’s also mean to those who love you. They’re starting to feel like cheerleaders on the sidelines, screaming their adoration and support, and their favorite team responds by giving them the finger. This is a home game, my dear, and almost everyone who showed up is rooting for you to win. Stop paying attention to the little knot of die-hards who will never be on your side, and give it those who deserve it: the people who know and love you.
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
There are a million reasons to keep trying, not least of which is that you’re a Capricorn, renowned for persistence and determination. That’s why I’m shocked that you’re considering giving up, after tripping over a tiny stumbling block. I’ve seen you leap tall buildings! Don’t tell me you’ve had enough, lest I lose all faith in your fortitude and tenacity. Buck up, soldier. What’s happened to you? You’re able to take a little criticism and rejection, and learn from it, believe it or not. Pull that famous thick skin out of the closet, wrap it around yourself, and charge back into the fray.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
Sleep on it. I know you, like all Aquarians, pair a general open-mindedness with a deep stubbornness. It’s the latter that’s making you flat-out reject the advice of your friends. Please consider the possibility–however unlikely–that they might be right, and sleep on it. If you wake up still feeling strongly about it, then by all means continue with your plan. They could be wrong, after all, or lack your vision. And if they’re right–well, you’ll just have to learn your lesson the hard way, which isn’t so bad. At least that way you won’t soon forget it.
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)
Some people have simple fears. They’re scared of dogs, or flying in planes, or of the number thirteen. Those kinds of fears are easy to confront and practice surmounting. Your fears, though, are generally more complex and subtle, and there’s no simple way to get over them. The best you can probably do is learn to live with them, or in spite of them. The first step, though, is figuring out–as much as possible–just what they are. This week you have a good chance of renegotiating terms with your fears. You may not be able to forge a peace, exactly, but some of kind of truce is certainly possible.
Aries (March 21-April 19)
I’m simultaneously pessimistic and optimistic enough to imagine aliens coming upon the ruins of our civilization someday, and using it to teach their children the perils of selfishness and shortsightedness. “They tried to save themselves,” they’d say, “but it was too little, too late.” The same, I’m afraid, might be said of you in a few weeks, though the stakes aren’t as high as the life or death of civilization. Your heart’s in the right place, and I won’t say you’re not trying. But might I suggest that you–and all of humankind–perhaps consider trying a lot harder, a lot sooner?
Taurus (April 20-May 20)
You may feel grievously overlooked, but you’ve actually been noticed. It’s just taking time for the good word to trickle back to you. Don’t screw this up by demanding recognition that’s already coming, before it actually gets to you; it’ll be retracted straight away, and you’ll be left looking the idiot. There’s nothing you can do but be patient, or risk screwing it all up. It may take much longer than you’d like, but eventually your hard work and talents will get the praise they deserve. Until then, keep quietly and modestly showing them off.
Gemini (May 21-June 20)
I know one Gemini whose catchphrase is, “Who are we talking about?” Because of the way they pounce on each tidbit of juicy gossip as if it’s the first morsel of food they’ve seen in months, people tend to clam up around them, forcing them to wring out details with the tenacity of a pit bull worrying a bit of flesh off a bone. Dial down the desperation and relax, whatever it is you’re hunting. You might miss a chance or two because you’re not clutching at it desperately, but I’m sure you’ll pick up many more as a result, without even trying.
Cancer (June 21-July 22)
Sometimes your unpleasant dreams are simply the detritus of your days being shat out; it’s a psychic digestive process. Occasionally, however, they’re a message from the you that lives below conscious thought. That message might be obvious, like, “You’re anxious about that upcoming change,” or it might be something more subtle that’s harder to figure out. It’s worth getting to the bottom of it this week, because it’s probably something important, and not necessarily bad; knowing what’s going on beneath the surface of your thoughts could not only help you avoid imminent trouble, but it could also enable imminent success.
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)
I know, it’s depressing that the sun has set before you even get out of work, but don’t let it get you down. A gloomy Leo is a crime against humanity, albeit just a misdemeanor. We need the sun, too, and when that’s not around much, you’re the next best thing. Shine, Leo. It’s your astrological duty to the rest of us who put up with your shit the rest of the year and forgive you your flaws. Now we need you to glow more than ever. This week, concentrate on finding a source of psychic fuel that will enable you to do just that.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
One thing I like you about you is your “what you see is what you get” nature. You don’t have time to go around pretending to be something you’re not, or that you’re cooler than you are. You’ve got stuff to do. Sure, there are many little quirks or idiosyncrasies (some might call then neuroses) that only become clear once someone knows you very well, but there are generally no big surprises; you’re essentially the same person ten years on that you were the day we met you. This information might be enormously comforting to someone you know; please be sure they get it. Since simply telling them yourself might lack credibility, find a messenger to subtly do it for you.
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)
“Hey loser, zip it up. We don’t want to see your junk!” That’s the way a Scorpio might point out that someone’s fly is open. You Libras, on the other hand, proudly proclaim that you’re masters of tact, and wouldn’t dream of openly pointing out someone’s screw-ups in front of everyone. Unfortunately, you sometimes also balk at the kinder option of taking them aside and giving them a helpful bit of advice. Instead you choose to say nothing at all. That, in the end, is more malicious and dirty than a Scorpio’s tactless comments. Speak up, Libra, or someone else will–or, worse yet, no one will.
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
You call people on their shit. I personally find this to be one of your more endearing qualities but I’m generally tough enough to take it and appreciate it. Some more thin-skinned folks, however, might consider you brutal and uncompromising (and even hypocritical) when you tell them to look at their own shortcomings or blind spots. Have a little sympathy for these softies this week. The holidays are coming up, after all, and if the sad sacks can’t catch a break then, when can they? In fact, I’d suggest using any way you can to show the softer, gentler side of you this week (even if it means biting your tongue until it bleeds).
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