Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22
You won’t know you’ve been meandering along the scenic route to your destination until you step off of it, onto a faster path. This involves a bit of rethinking: What exactly are your goals? What are you willing to do to achieve them? Luckily, this is a good week for asking and answering those types of questions. If you apply yourself diligently, you could cut hours, days, or even years from your quest—leaving yourself time and energy to pursue other journeys more suitable to roundabout, curious ways.
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
Now that you’ve scared off half your potential allies as well as half your enemies by doing nothing more than revealing or demonstrating some of your own internal complexities, you might be feeling a bit lonely. All Scorpios occasionally suffer these moments of isolation, believing themselves alone in the world and without real friends. These feelings are often so strong and vivid that they easily out-shout the tiny, rational part of you that’s screaming contradictions and pointing out the crew of folk who adore you precisely because of those complicated inner workings that scared off the strangers. I’m hoping I’m less easily shouted down when I assure you: they’re there, and just waiting for your call.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
I hope you vote (and not just in presidential elections). We need people who think to cast their ballots, because too many people who don’t will be doing just that. Make it happen, without excuses. It doesn’t matter if you believe your vote will count in your area, because this isn’t just about your actual vote, it’s about what it represents: a belief in the validity and weight of your own opinion. What you think is quite important, for yourself as well as those around you. So go vote, and also go ahead and put your two cents in anywhere else it’s invited or otherwise welcome. Your vote and your opinion will matter, despite what you may believe. Try it. You’ll see.
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
What can I possibly say to you that will do the least bit of good? You’re virtually immune to outside influence at the moment, comfortably cocooned in a bubble of your own judgment, for good or ill. This means that no one can derail you, but also that no one can really help you. It also might hinder your understanding of why everyone outside your private orb is acting so strange. Friends and rivals alike are apt to be frustrated by your essential unreachability at the moment. Be sympathetic and counsel patience, and let them know you’ll emerge soon—then do just that.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
You’ve never had any real problem with people who sleep their way up the socio-economic ladder. You’re too cynical or worldly to get too caught up in ideas of what’s “fair” or “unfair.” However, with a few notable exceptions, most of you have mostly abstained from this kind of strategy, even when the opportunity was baldly obvious. I urge you to maintain that record this week, despite forces that would steer you otherwise. Let sex remain in the realm of play and romance, not business or opportunism. You’ll be glad you did.
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)
“Walk this way,” says the hunchbacked goggle-eyed doorman, slumping lopsidedly across the room. Absurdly, heeding the old junior-high-worthy joke, you imitate him. Yeah, this is goofily funny for about three seconds. The fact that you’ve effectively been playing out this joke for ages now isn’t comical at all, however. It’s just sad. Following directions is all well and good, but you’ve taken it, in this one particular (uncharacteristic) circumstance, to an extreme, doing something exactly the way you were told, without even considering alternatives. That’s a tragedy, considering your wealthy imagination. It’s like walking on your knees, with a limp, when you could be sprinting, or even flying. Wield that ingenuity now, and take off.
Aries (March 21-April 19)
Didn’t I tell you? Play your cards right, I said, and you’ll be the belle of the ball again. Well, your time has come. Everyone is trying to get a dance in, even people who never even noticed you before. Go play. Don’t pay me much mind; this is a nice moment worth enjoying. I say this not to mar your joy, but to enhance it: this, like everything else, won’t last forever. So don’t waste your time worrying about it or overthinking it. Take advantage of it and milk it for all it’s worth.
Taurus (April 20-May 20)
Old habits die hard for a reason. Every once in a while—like this week—they come in handy. That’s right; some higher power decided to reward Bulls this week (for their hard work expanding their repertoires, and efforts to enliven and enrich their lives) by making forward progress almost frictionless, using the tools you developed ages ago, instead of the ones you’re still forging. Hard work and serious thinking will carry you tremendous distances this week, but don’t let them become your be-all, end-all ever again. Being disciplined, for you, is as simple as breathing, so don’t waste much energy on it. Also practice the newer skills, for their own sakes, that are less like breathing, and more like singing.
Gemini (May 21-June 20)
Refrain from buying new locks, alarm systems or guard dogs this week. Your creature comforts may suddenly seem more vital to your well-being, and more vulnerable, than ever before. You may feel irrationally possessive and protective about them. Even a reasonable request from your neighbor to borrow your hairdryer may have you up in arms, resentful and resistant. Let it go. It’s just stuff, and it’s actually complicating and sapping your existence more than it simplifies or enhances it. Generosity with your wealth (whether modest or copious) will make you feel a lot better than your hairdryer ever could.
Cancer (June 21-July 22)
Sometimes you’re a blubbering mess, but it’s nothing to be ashamed of. You’re our blubbering mess, and we like the fact that you express your grief when it comes, instead of squashing it like so many of us do. Somehow, you provide a release that many people can’t provide for themselves. Whether they can’t let themselves or have forgotten how isn’t important. Your power to feel, to really feel and express it all, is important. What I’m getting at here is this: Not releasing your sadness isn’t only bad for you (it can lead to chronic sinus infections, depression, and immunity to joy), it’s bad for us, too.
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)
You probably feel slightly deflated, like a balloon the day after a birthday party. Dragging along the ground, dirty, waiting for something sharp to come along and finish you off, you’re probably not feeling as buoyant as you were as recently as yesterday. Don’t worry. That particular incarnation of self may be finished, it’s true. But a new one will rise up, as sure as the sun, and be ready to fly high into the upper atmosphere and across vast distances, and best of all, without obligation to others—in other words, with no strings attached.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
Dig deep. We’re talking prehistory here, the roots of the roots. You’ll press on, to learn what you can of his genetic history and emotional upbringing. Naturally, this kind of inquisitiveness will freak anyone out; revealing that you called the guy’s mom before your first date is a pretty shitty plan. Nevertheless, you shouldn’t suppress your powerful nosiness, at least in certain other, more reasonable areas; an important truth lies buried and awaiting discovery, but you’ll never find it unless you dig.
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