This time last year I was pregnant and angry. I was pro-having another little munchkin around the house and con-actually cooking it in my uterus for nine freaking months. I’m more into the whole growing them in a cabbage patch, or having a large stork drop one off on my doorstep potty trained and weaned.
Maternity-wear? No, thanks. The miracle of life doesn’t have anything on a good pair of skinny jeans.
Can I get an Amen, Sisters? A-men.
So anyway, I was huge. Okay, granted I wasn’t huge-huge (I’ve seen some gargantuan pregnant women lately), but a final weigh-in of 135 for a former size zero felt positively bovine at 38 weeks. Don’t hate me because I have the metabolism of a rabid ferret.
By the third trimester, all I did was eat, sleep, cry and moo. Conversations in my household started to degenerate, as did my fledgling marriage.
Actual telephone conversation, dated 11/20/05:
Hubby: [feigning “happy voice”] Hi Honey! How was your day?
Hubby: That good, huh? Did you manage to wash any of my socks? I’ve been out of socks and yours are a little small on me.
Me: [angry] Moo Moo, Moo, Moo.
Hubby: I understand. You’re tired. [Incoherent mumbling… the words “lazy bitch” are suspected]
Hubby: Okay, well you just sit there and relax. When I get done with my 12-hour workday I’ll pick up some dinner at Bangkok Cuisine for us. How does that sound?
Me: Don’t forget dessert.
Hubby: I love you. Bye.
The magic words in this conversation are “Bangkok Cuisine.” It was my craving of choice. Originally, they were in Paia where Jacques is now. About five years ago they moved over to Kahului, next to FedEx Kinkos.
Their yummy pad Thai noodles have seen me through the best of times and the worst of times—pregnancies, pseudo-divorces, young love and well, you get my drift.
Yeah, Maui’s got a lot of Thai food. Bangkok Cuisine is my favorite, hands down. The service is totally awesome—quick and friendly. The prices are fair. Two people can eat and drink until the cows come home for under $40. The ambiance is warm, with a bunch of cool Thai tapestries and figurines decorating the place.
My favorite dish is the Panang Chicken curry. You can get it with chicken, beef or veggies done up mild, medium or hot. Just a tip from a girl who drowns everything in Tabasco—hot is freaking tongue-on-fire hot. Go for the medium. Trust me.
They also offer great starters like the beef or chicken satays and fresh soups and salads. The Cornish game hen is a carnivore’s dream, but vegetarians will be thrilled that almost everything can be prepared to their taste.
They have a nice selection of beer, but no hard liquor. Their Thai iced tea is awesome and sweet enough to send you into a hyperglycemic stupor. My favorite dessert? Tapioca in warm coconut milk. I scoff in the face of cholesterol. I’d sacrifice an artery any day for seconds.
So if you’re pregnant, angry or just plain hungry for the best Thai food on the island, head on over to Bangkok Cuisine. You’ll leave with a new attitude and new addiction. It could be worse. You could be mooing. Than again, if you go crazy on the Tapioca you’ll be mooing anyway. MTW