1) I needed a bottle of wine to take to a party;
2) I know nothing about wine, so I judge wine solely on how cool its label is;
3) More than being swayed by cool labels, I’m a sucker for themes.
Given those three, very important things, I bought a bottle of Bonny Doon Vineyard’s Cardinal Zin, in honor of the release of the new Confession iPhone app — believed to be the first app sanctioned by a church authority.
A review by cheapwineratings.com speaks glowingly about this Zin’s “musicality,” its “bright, high-pitched aromas.” However — having read the review after-purchase — I discovered I’d paid $10 too much at Foodland Pukalani! Quickly, the extra $10 was justified when I read “[Cardinal Zin] was banned because Ohio’s state code on wine labeling forbids “advertisement or representation portraying pictures of… children [or] religious subjects.””
NOT TO BRAG, BUT…
Not to brag, but I’m a pro at pouring milk over cereal, and my toast with microwave-melted cheese is nothing short of magnifique.
I know, I know. You’re thinking to yourself, “Wow, Anu. With such talent, you must be inundated with invitations to potluck parties.”
You’re right. I am. I can’t keep up with them all. But the weird thing is that when invited to potlucks, all my foodie friends implore I not bring anything. “Oh, no,” they say. “Don’t trouble yourself.”
While it’s quite considerate of them, I have no problem whipping up a batch of my famous Pillsbury crescent rolls (it’s a super secret recipe — so don’t bother asking), if it’ll make the world a better place (it does).
Still, my foodie friends insist. “NO! Please, come to the party — but DON’T bring anything. We’ve got it covered.”
OK, OK! Really, I know they’re all just trying to be nice, so I consider it an opportunity to bank my genius for later… (And since I can’t show up to a party empty handed, so I invariably get booze… Thus, Cardinal Zin.)
Plus, I’m doing my foodie friends a favor by allowing them to test their cooking skills. As you can see from the inset photo, they need all the help they can get. My friend Jennifer made this fresh Kula strawberry layer cake with a li hing mui buttercream — perfect for the Chinese New Year.
I know — it’s not cheese toast, but it’ll do.