Still tabulating those results from the Great American Sex Survey (Mar. 8, 2007). But I am a little surprised that last week’s column, “The Funhouse Mirror of Love,” elicited such an overwhelming and mixed response from you, my dear readers—much more, in fact, than the circled answers to my questions about your torrid (and not) lives in the sack. Am I to understand that you’d rather hear about my shit than tell me about yours? Fair enough. And, well, thank you for your support. And now, here are excerpts of what some of you said regarding my hapless relationship botching during the infamous birthday weekend:
Sorry to hear your b-day went so right and sooo wrong. It seems to me that you aren’t really ready to sacrifice your holoholo lifestyle to a long-term relationship and nothing wrong with that. It’s just coming to that realization is the painful part. It is more than a bit ironic you are doing an interview with the author of Men are Easy (another book you and I will never read). You might have to abandon the BF. He sounds too sensitive and why isn’t he out drinking with you—friend conflict?
Don’t f—k this up. As I said to my husband of 15 years when we had the whirlwind romance across 3,000 miles—“don’t miss me… I could be someone real in your life.” As someone else once said to me, “never turn your back on love.” Your boyfriend is testing the waters and wants you to be about commitment—to time, your word, etc. I figure you’ll always want to do your own thing. Therein lies the tradeoff. Hubby told me when we got “committed” (and I felt I should be after two marriages) that I would probably keep doing it, until I get it right. Yeah, whatever; I’m still learning and so is he.
Aloha Samantha, I was moved by your column this week and the story of your birthday. Your candid honesty of yourself is always provocative yet intrigue prompted me to contact you. I have been a recovering alcoholic for about five-plus years. I have led a life like yours—always looking for the next party, consumed with my inflated ego, having the least things set me off and constantly blaming others. Now I am not saying this is you but was me. Being on this island for some 25 years, I could walk into most any bar and have a drink waiting for me. Life was great for a long time but somewhere along the line the drugs and the booze did not hide my fragile, hidden feelings about myself anymore. I found the person I detested the most was me. So why am I telling you this? For some reason, I seemed to find some underlying call for help between the lines of the Holoholo Girl column. Perhaps I am wrong. I do not mean to offend either way, not my intention. I have always read with interest your column, perhaps remembering my old days living vicariously through you, I’m not really sure. I am attracted by your writing skills, your knowledge of the arts, being well read, etc. I suppose I just want you to know if you ever decide the partying life is not for you anymore, we’ll be saving a seat for you at our AA meetings. Perhaps one day we could meet for coffee, who knows, we might become friends. Take care of yourself.
Girl—I feel for you. My friend just wrote a book called Men Are Easy. It’s great bedside reading and is very simple and direct. I’m not making any money on this and have nothing to do with her book or promoting it but I think you might glean some good info about yourself and your beau if you read it. I’m pretty sure it’s still at Borders and on Amazon. Maybe he IS the right one for you. Maybe he’s not right now. You appear to be on the cusp of something. Figuring out what it is will be the interesting part.
Sorry—didn’t see you had already reviewed Men Are Easy [“You Can Change Him… Just Shut Up, Mar. 15, 2007]. So go ahead and read it!
– D, again
Samantha Campos is currently entering negotiations for featuring her first full-length bio-novella entitled My Hot Latina Life in Spicy, Medium and Mild in the Oprah Book Club. MTW