Ring announcer: Out of the Upcountry corner, this church is a 28th-time festival holder. Standing since 1907, built out of materials which arrived at Makena Landing and were transported up Haleakala by horse-drawn carriage — fighting for your salvation out of Keokea, it’s ST. JOHN’S EPISCOPAL CHURCH! (Crowd cheers.) And out of the Wailuku corner (a hush), this church is named for Hana-born Hawaii queen and favorite wife of Kamehameha the Great. Established in 1832, it’s the oldest congregational church on the island — fighting from just across the street to the county seat, it’s KA’AHUMANU HAWAIIAN CONGREGATIONAL CHURCH! (Crowd cheers.) Both churches are painted white with green trim and will host free community fairs on Saturday (September 25), with St. John’s Kula Festival running from 9am-3pm and Ka’ahumanu’s “Restoring Our History” Extravaganza from 10am-4pm. Referee: Churches, please open your hymnals to “The Summons,” and have a clean festival. (DING!) Ring announcer: And the churches come out swinging! St. John’s promised to be “bigger and better than ever” this year, as the congregation honors the retirement of Rev. Heather Mueller, after her 29 years of service. As is tradition, they will share proceeds with local non-profits, this year being the Upcountry Boys & Girls Club (of Rev. Mueller’s selection) and the Hui No Ke Ola Pono native Hawaiian health care system. Meanwhile, Ka’ahumanu — which recently had an inspection revealing restoration work that need be done posthaste — looks to both announce their plans and raise funds. Both events feature live entertainment — St. John’s boasting George Kahumoku, Jr. (2pm) — food, arts and crafts, produce and more. Ooh! St. John’s throws in a silent auction, and their food like their famous Portuguese bean soup plus produce like fresh Kula strawberries for sale. But wait, Ka’ahumanu still seeks artisans and craters, and will pick up rummage sale donations. Looks like this one’s a tie, folks! Thanks for tuning in and be sure to return for more Holy Trinity TKOs, like summertime’s Holy Ghost Feast at Kula’s famous “Octagonal… St. John’s: 808-878-1485; stjohnsmaui.org / Ka’ahumanu: 808-874-1815
This is (one of the) photos we wanted to run in our print edition, but my late-bum didn’t think of it in time to contact the artist through the proper channels. Guess you online readers just get lucky. But damn, that would’ve been great in print. Sigh. C’est la vie. (Click the image to redirect to the source…)
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