Guess who has the after-Shatner* slot in the Hard Rock Café’s celeb series to benefit World Hunger Year? Roseanne Barr. (One of those necessary/unnecessary surnames, huh?)
If you’ve been spelunking for so long that precious Pick/blog space need be wasted with background on this visiting celeb, then you are too far-Gollum to be helped. It’s Roseanne. The Domestic Goddess.
Are you and your 99 friends also domestic goddesses and going to the show? You can decorate yourselves with 2.25” or 3.5” buttons ($129.99 – $181.99, 100 qty)—emblazoned with a magical yellow glove—from www.roseanneworld.com! However, the logo stein ($18.19) or BBQ apron ($21.49) might be more appropriate. And practical (sort of). And practically any logo-applicable thingamajig is available thanks to CafePress—116 products, by my count (exclusive of the 113 items in her Hello Piggy line, which includes Made in the U.S.A. thongs for $10.39 ea). And yes, “YES WE CANnabis” products too (jeez… that phrase is becoming a recurring theme).
But the best thing Roseanne World brings us is Roseanne’s Blog. In anticipation of her arrival, let us close with these Christmas-day sentiments, posted at 11:07 a.m.:
“crazy woman dressed in red
breaks through the barricades and knocks over the sane man in a bejewelled dress who approaches a throne on a baccillis [I think she means basilisk] to tell the poor to have more children. Merry Satan, I mean Santa! / It is up to the Bi-Polar now, to save the world for righteousness sake, which is the manic high itself!!! crazy women dressed in red—million bitches march apr. 1 Washington DC. / JEWESS WE CAN!!!”
*PISS OFF, TREKKERS
But, thanks to Matt Lane—community man extraordinaire—I have in my possession the rocket man’s autobiography, Up Till Now. Best of all, it’s signed. To me. Sweet.
But why the Shat Infection? Star Trek, of course! And, if I haven’t made enough mention of my obsession to boldly go, I’ll add to this post by saying:
Now, it’s Sir Patrick– and it’s about freakin’ time.
“This is an honor that embraces those actors, directors and creative teams how have in these recent years helped fill my life with inspiration, companionship and sheer fun,” says Stewart (as reported by the Associated Press).
In light of all the aforementioned, my beloved Mr. Hamilton of The Maui News–who stalks me via Google Alerts (hi!)–pointed out that I’m a repeat offender of incorrectly defining myself as a Trekkie. It is, according to purists, Trekker.
Well, no Trekker has yet to call me out on it–but should one try, it would be proof positive why hardcore Star Trek fans are on the low-end of the getting-laid meter. Trekkie? Trekker? Who the hell cares. If you (really) ask me, the solution lies in completely reapplying the terms as feminine/masculine versions of the same bloody thing. If anything, encouraging more lady participants would bode well for their meter maid problem.
crazy woman in a red dress breaks out of the hospital and takes a photograph with a sane man, bejewelled in alt. weeklies. tipped him in quarters. waikiki, bitches. PEARL HARBOR DAY 2009.