Alien in a Bottle
[CD] How is it possible to resist a band named Uncle Dirty? You just can’t. Let me spill the beans on a little something here folks: I get uku pile CDs every month by people wanting reviews, but somehow Alien in a Bottle jumped to the top of the list. The band, which consists of Jimmy C (drums and back up vocals), Kit Hain (bass and back up vocals), Patrick Moser (rhythm guitar and lead vocal) and John Ness (lead guitar), is funky, weird, hilarious and strangely easy to listen to. Their groovy style makes me want to get really sunburned and consume umbrella drinks by day and toke massive reefer by night. “Locals Only” is a great song that includes the line, “Local’s only. Tough titties,” and their title track is all about drinking too much Patron and extraterrestrials. What more can I say? Alien in a Bottle will make you scratch your head, think deep and giggle. But most of all, it’s a fun hip album to groove to. That’s important, you know.
How to Be a Ninja (in five days)
[WEBSITE] Now this is a question that I have long pondered: How can I become a ninja as quick as possible? Believe it or not, I’ve found a website that addresses this subject in depth. I should mention that they sell a ninjitsu manual on the webpage, but offer some cool tips nonetheless. One of the subjects that they cover is “Assassination” and according to the website, “You’ll feel absolute confidence once you know how easy it is to deal with fatal, irreversible killing blows…” The site outlines methods such as fundamentalist ninjitsu strikes, how to kill in three seconds and how to ambush from behind—above and below! Now that I think about it, this would be really bad info for a psycho wanna-be ninja. On the other hand, the online newsletter course is free. In my first transmittal from the Black Dragon Ryu, they give specific exercises for awakening one’s awareness. Catch this site while you can. I have a feeling the government will shut it down with a massive karate chop. (www.ninjitsuryu.com)
[MAGAZINE] Elves. Fairies. Big Foot. The Loch Ness Monster. Aliens. Poltergeists. Psychics. Ghosts. What do all of these things have in common? They all appear in FATE magazine. FATE has been published since 1948 and is to the Weekly World News what People Magazine is to the National Enquirer. What I mean is that although they cover some pretty strange stories that may seem similar to “Bearded Baby Born with Two Left Feet!” they are actually pretty reputable when it comes to their sources. For example, instead of interviewing the batu-smoking guy running out of the cane-field screaming, “Alien!” they interview people like Jack Sarfatti—a quantum physicist—about his strange encounters with the unexplained. It’s entertainment at it’s finest. MTW