Friday, 4 p.m. Head down to the airport from Makawao feeling like I’m forgetting something major. Turns out it’s just the baby.
4:25 The hubby and I are shocked at how empty the airport is. Seriously, it’s dead. Oddly, there are still boatloads of TSA workers.
5:05 Finally on the airplane even though technically, we’re supposed to be landing in Oahu in a few minutes.
5:06 The stewardess asks that someone, anyone move from one of the front rows to the back row because of balance issues. Not sure if I’m okay with the fact that 120 pounds will make that much of a difference.
5:20 “Sliding into first, my butt is gonna burst! Diarrhea!”
5:25 Completely humiliated and grossed out that there was no water for the sink in the tiny closet they call a bathroom, I hobble back to my seat.
7:45 At my sister-in-law’s house in Palolo eating an awesome dinner while her boyfriend impersonates her hilarious drunken escapades. Everyone was amused except her.
8:32 Going through my mother-in-law’s amazing and ginormous yarn collection while her 70 pound puppy attempts to hump me.
9:17 Hunker down in front of the boob tube to watch Juno with the hubby.
9:40 Totally feeling Juno’s predicament.
11:05 Have a complete meltdown, tears and all, because the hubby refuses to take me to Zippy’s. What? They have good pudding!
Saturday, 6:45 a.m. Wake up to a garage sale for mom-in-law’s church that should be a contender for the Guinness World Book of Records.
6:46 Wash the mascara streaks off my face from last night’s tantrum and browse. I got Heelys (my size!), an electric juicer, a large straw bag, thick and comfy hoodie, yarn, and a Hannah Montana pillow.
9:40 Arrive at Hawaii’s first MMA Sport and Fitness Expo at the Blaisdell.
10:00 Talk story with Egan Inoue and realize again how gorgeous his wife Marcia is. I’m talkin’ smoking hot.
11:20 Chat with Brandon Pieper from 808 Fight Factory and buy a completely great yet totally obnoxious T-shirt from Westside Fight Gear.
1:16 p.m. While eating chicken long rice and kalua pig at the expo, I have an “Aha!” moment and have zero doubt in my mind that this is the sport and the people that I love and feel comfortable being around.
1:17 The concept that all local people surround me makes me smile while taking a picture with Brandon Wolff.
2:15 Hug Maui’s Dylan Clay and check out the huge goose-egg on his foot that he’s had since his fight in May.
3:45 Medicate and leave the expo because the friggin’ slipped disc in my neck is killing me after walking around for hours.
5:02 Hang out at the family home with the hubby’s auntie–she used to dance hula for the Cazimero Brothers–while watching a replay of The Ultimate Fighter Season Finale.
6:45 Hoot and holler at the TV during Kendall Grove’s fight against Evan Tanner even though I’ve seen it a million times.
6:54 Pack up the suitcases and head to the airport.
11:57 Finally back home and in bed hoping that when I dream, I dream of flying knees.
Starr Begley would like to publicly apologize to the gentleman who had the ill luck of being seated next to the bathroom on the plane. MTW