Ideas or the lack of them can cause disease. – Kurt Vonnegut
9/10: At Charley’s in Paia, 8:30 p.m. I overhear someone at the door saying, “Man, this wristband is tight—I feel like I’m handcuffed! And I’m not even in bed.”
Also: American cities I’ve always wanted to live in: San Francisco, Portland, Seattle, Boston, New York, New Orleans… aw, damn.
9/17: Great lines from Kinsey, the 2004 movie starring Liam Neeson as Alfred Kinsey, a scientist who amassed a great deal of human sexuality research in the late 1940’s—“Not all sex has to be sanctioned by love, enriched by emotion” and “Fucking isn’t just something, it’s the whole thing. And if you’re not careful, it will cut you wide open.” Also, “When it comes to love, we’re all in the dark.”
Also: Disturbing revelation #83—I hate nothing but am annoyed by everything.
9/18: Inspirational Moment and best winning speech at the Emmys—“Writing for a Drama Series” winner David Shore (“House”) thanks everyone who’s ever made him bitter, angry and cynical, “’cause without them, these characters wouldn’t be as good.”
Also: Disturbing revelation #96—Knowing I can do anything but realizing I will never have the time to do it all.
9/20: At Jacque’s with Sasha. The Mark Johnston Trio is playing live jazz. As we eat sushi and down cocktails in an effort to dilute the melancholy that has temporarily overcome us, Johnston bluesily sings, “You don’t know what love is, until you’ve faced each dawn with sleepless eyes…” Sasha scoffs. “He’s mocking us,” she says. “We’re just trying to eat.”
Also: A poem, entitled “Love” by Lola Haskins: She tries it on, like a dress./She decides it doesn’t fit,/and starts to take it off./Her skin comes, too.
10/1: Sasha and I engage in delightful abandon at Ruth’s Chris Steak House. We are wined and dined by handsome and charming men, who lavish us with attention, pouring our drinks copiously and serving endless plates of hot sin in the form of fried onions, seared ahi and layered chocolate (not all at the same time, of course). Sasha coins our latest pick-up line: “Get ON my fork!” We decide Ruth’s Chris is a better meat market than most nightclubs we’ve been to lately.
Also: “Samantha” from Sex in the City saying, “Who we are in bed is who we are in life.”
10/4: While house-sitting for the neighbors, I take one of several bubble baths in their brand new Jacuzzi tub, with jets. As I make first a beard, then a bra, then a penis and a snowman with the silky foam, I think about Matthew McConaughey. It occurs to me that there is something about his Southern charm and All-American boyish good looks—something about the slight smirk in his smile and the glint in his eyes that I find sexy and yet makes me really uncomfortable. I get nervous. I think of a fling I had during the summer and end my bath quickly.
Also: Pamela Anderson has two bestselling fiction books. Two!
10/7: We try on evening locales like Goldilocks and the Three Bears—an upscale restaurant too adult, an overcrowded concert too young—before we conclude that a dive bar—Henry’s—in Kihei is… ahh… just right. Relieved, we slouch comfortably over our drinks and fend off the advances of our new old friends as we watch much booty-shakin’ and hair teasing to the Led Zeppelin/Stevie Ray Vaughan tunes of the Crunch Pups. Sasha reveals she is so happy, she’s “almost gonna cry.”
Also: Judging from the sports section at Borders, it’s safe to assume all pilates instructors are blonde.
10/9: I read an article that says single women’s dogs’ personalities are similar to the kind of men they’re attracted to. The article also suggests dog training classes are important tools for determining which “dog” is right for you, and is helpful in honing down a more appropriate mate. Soon after, a friend sees a TV commercial for RS-01 RoboDog, “the world’s most powerful, most advanced and largest commercial… domestic quadruped robot.” She suggests I get one.
Also: Even Malcolm in the Middle went to Burning Man.
Samantha Campos enjoys dark chocolate with her cabernet, cream with her coffee, green apples with her brie and unfulfilled promises with her romantic deceit. MTW