You all know how much I love to go out with my friends. Many of you even ask about them when I’m out solo, or recognize their names from this column when I introduce them to you in person. I gotta say, I feel very fortunate—my pals are some of the most beautiful and entertaining people I know. They’re basically the reason why I get to do this column. They say something funny or sage, I write it down. They get drunk or horny, I tell you all about it. Sure, it’s exploitation—but with love.
However, last week, I did a lot of things without them.
Like Saturday night, when I went to Cafe Marc Aurel. For dinner, I had a glass of Lagavulin 16 Year Scotch and a Petit Misu—an orgasmic dessert with espresso and cognac soaked chocolate genoise and mascarpone mousse. It was a rare moment when I was glad there were no friends around with whom to share, you know what I mean?
Anyway, I was there in time to catch Sweet Steel, a calypso, Latin, Brazilian and island music band with Brian Whittman and Andrea Walls. They were cool and quite eclectic—very NPR—but I was most impressed with the variety of instruments the two busted out. At any one time, Whittman would handle the steel drum, saxophone, a Brazilian version of the ‘ukulele—which I think is called a cavaquinho—and various percussion, not the least of which was the all-important cowbell, while Walls tackled the violin, marimba, conga drums and keyboard.
Did I mention I play a mean recorder?
Then Sunday afternoon, I went to the benefit for the victims of Hurricane Katrina at Casanova. It warmed my little heart to see such an immense turnout and so much community support. I stood outside for a while, waiting to get in and chatting with some amicable folks. People are quite nice in the light of day—who knew?! I saw old friends and made new ones.
By the time I got in, I just barely missed my Mr. Wonderful, the forever charming Marty Dread. But I did catch the entire Barefoot Natives act of dreamy Eric Gilliom and Willie K, and I swooned with utmost reverence and googly-eyed awe. I’m such a flippin’ groupie.
That’s why it was so cool when I got to sign my first gee-tar! I met a fabulous man named Gardner, of the Rodeo General Store, and his lovely wife, Susan, and they insisted I sign—in red, no less!—their recently auction-acquired purple electric guitar, alongside the more deserving luminaries of Maui’s music scene. What honor! What prestige!
But then I had to run away. Frankly, so much warmth and happiness makes me queasy.
And it occurred to me—I hadn’t seen or talked to Sasha in days. Where the hell was she? Usually, we catch up at the Candlelight Cafe on Wednesday but I opted out this time. Often, we’ll have pau hanas on Thursday but not this week. Sasha was officially MIA.
The next day, she finally called. And it was just as I’d suspected.
“Well, I fell in love,” she said. Uh huh. You see, us girls, once we get involved in some romantic entanglements, we tend to drop our friends pretty quick.
“Oh yeah? What’s he like?” I asked, somewhat dourly.
“He’s five-eight… blue—” she said, breathlessly. “It was love at first sight.”
“Wait, go back. He has blue eyes?”
“No,” she said. “My new boyfriend is blue. I saw him alone in the back of the surf shop and I just couldn’t help myself. I mean, I can see my kids riding this board. He’s on the bed with me now…”
And then, just like with any new paramour, my friend launched into a detailed discourse on “her new boyfriend’s” features, cooing about where they would go together, waxing poetic on the magic of their first meeting. And so on.
“It was meant to be,” she said, sighing. “It’s the most healthy relationship I’ll have. As long as there’s waves.”
Samantha Campos has formulated a new dietary supplement called SINXS, designed to eradicate any and all dastardly deeds done within 10 days. Side effects include boredom, depression, weight gain, lethargy and a killer case of vaginal dryness. MTW