[HOLIDAY] Top 10 things you’re almost guaranteed to see on Front Street this Halloween:
10. Some girl, wearing only a bra, panties and angel wings, being shocked and infuriated when some guy slaps her ass.
9. Three braddahs in Maui Built tank tops exacting vigilante justice on the idiot who just slapped Tita’s ass.
8. A curious new yoga position consisting of the placing of the buttocks on a curb while the forehead rests against the street.
7. The recycled contents of someone’s stomach, seasoned with candy corn and Skittles—mmm… taste the rainbow!
6. At least one young girl attempting to look much, much older.
5. At least one older woman attempting to look much, much younger.
4. A fistfight involving a dude dressed as Nacho Libre and a dude dressed as Napoleon Dynamite.
3. That one guy whose sole objective is to take as many lewd
pictures of half-naked females as possible for future, unmentionable
2. A hottie in pasties and handcuffs…
1. Me being escorted to a police car by a less-than-amused officer. Happy Halloween everyone! Be safe.
Front St. will be closed to
thru-traffic from 3 p.m. to 1 a.m. The Keiki Parade starts at 4:30 p.m.
at Papalaua St. Costume Contest is at 7 p.m. at Banyan Tree Park.
Hector Serrano will play at 5:30 p.m. and Marty Dread starts at 7:30
p.m. on the Library Lawn. No alcohol, no drugs, no open nudity and no
lewd behavior will be permitted. [COREY NIELSEN]