Date sideways, never up or down.
Sideways is usually a more comfortable position for both players and
one of the players can be heads up or heads down. In this position, any
significant height difference of either player is minimalized. – Julianne Balmain, author of Office Kama Sutra
We had never been to a singles mixer before. That made deciding what
to wear problematic; you’re basically going on a first date over and
over again with numerous people on the same night. However, being less
single than my companion for the evening, I wasn’t allowed to be too
concerned. She, on the other hand, was slightly nerve-wracked.
My girl opted for a high maintenance look, so as not to be misleading.
I’d received the invite for this mixer days before from my long-time
acquaintance and fabulous femme fatale, Julie Yoneyama, a.k.a. “CoCo.”
She called me and explained how she was getting some people together
for a casual party where everyone also happened to be single.
“My requirements are that you have hair, job, teeth and car,” she
said. “But the ‘hair’ thing kinda got, you know—Vin Diesel. Now I say
it’s okay to be ‘bald by choice.’ But no comb-over—Molokini stays out
there, you know?”
As Director of Employee and Community Relations at the Old Lahaina
Luau, Julie knows a lot of people. And the more people she meets, the
more she realizes “everybody’s single.” So she decided to gather them
up—mostly folks in their late 20’s to late 40’s of varying
professions—Food and Beverage distributors, activity agents, realtors,
television production people, massage therapists, bartenders and chefs.
She decided to hold her first party last Friday at E&O Trading
Co. in Lahaina, which has the appropriate ambience for schmoozing and
romance, as well as really good happy hour prices. The formula seemed
to work. We noticed an attractive crowd of 30 people or more mingling
easily, and were pleased with the lack of any high-pressure,
meat-market vibe. But CoCo was disappointed this first outing was low
on the number of guys.
“Hey, the dating pool is not easy on Maui,” she said. “But if
anything, this is a good place for people to network. I even just
overheard a friend say, ‘I found someone to do my taxes!’ This one’s
okay ‘cause the women are friendly. But next time I’ll have to invite
two times more men. And I’ll be sure to tell them, ‘You had your
We asked her why dating here on Maui is so difficult. What else does she do to survive?
“Oh yeah, I go to Oahu,” CoCo said. “But that’s ‘cause I’ve lived
here 13 years. My theory of Maui is men move over here to be Peter Pan.
A lot of these guys have degrees—they could move here and contribute to
the community. Instead they take three steps back and say, ‘I don’t
have to try hard, but I can still make money.’ If they surf, they keep
in shape, and they can still get the younger women.”
It was just past 8 p.m. and we had other obligations so we left,
just as we noticed more guys—a lot more, in fact—filing in by the bar.
Why must it always be about timing? We waved goodbye to CoCo, who was
in the midst of social multi-tasking: making introductions, ordering
cocktails and just being fabulous in general.
We loved her.
“Every strong fabulous woman has a gay man trapped inside her,” my
friend said. “I have a little Puerto Rican man in me, my other friend
has a big German gay man…”
“What about me?” I asked.
“You? Hmm…” she said, momentarily perplexed. “You’re more gay-businessman-who-plays-it-straight.”
Samantha Campos is currently the opening act on the reunion tour of Stryper. MTW