Bunch of freaks, those ancient Romans and Greeks. Over the last couple millennia, their mythologies’ indubitable influence on the Western world has stuck us with the twisted iconography of Cupid. Ah, yes—nothing speaks to love and lust more than a naked (occasionally diapered) flying baby shooting arrows into our bloodiest vital organ. And once you’ve been shot—whether you like it or not — you’re forever, hopelessly in love with the person of Cupid’s choosing. Romantic, isn’t it? In his seminal satirical lexicon The Devil’s Dictionary, American editorialist Ambrose Bierce’s entry on Cupid reads, “CUPID, n. Of all unbeautiful and inappropriate conceptions this is the most reasonless and offensive.” If you share these sentiments, check out Diamonds Ice Bar this Monday (February 14, 10pm, no cover) for their “Screw Cupid” party with Gomega. Take fate into your own hands by bidding on dates with bartending babes from Diamonds and Dog & Duck Irish Pub, and win prizes ranging from dinner to ziplining. [874-9299, diamondsmaui.angelfire.com] Or, “celebrate the single life” by checking out Maui Brewing Company’s “casual speed dating social” on Monday (February 14, 10pm sign-up/10:30pm dating, no cover). [669-3474; mauibrewingco.com] Meanwhile, Ambrosia’s annual “Anti-Valentine’s Day” parties invite singles to “flaunt your freedom and mock those that are tied down by the ol’ ball and chain.” On Sunday (February 13, 10pm, no cover) you can boogie to your booty’s content with DJ CIA, and on Monday (February 14, 10pm, no cover), enjoy the jazz and blues of Estee Graham and Toby Couture. [891-1011; ambrosiamaui.com] Plus, get a head start on hearts day by heading to Casanova on Saturday (February 12, 9pm; $10) and checking out Canadian cuties, Current Swell. [572-0220; casanovamaui.com]
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