To the zombie mechanic who messed up my car: it’s become evident that you suck much more than most people think. It seems every tire you rotated on my car was re-installed by an undertrained monkey with a ratchett gun, and now all the lug nuts are all striped and breaking. I brought this to your attention and you gave me nothing but grief and blame. It cost me $143 per tire to replace your damage, and to make things even better your insurance company says tough luck since I can’t prove it was you that messed things up in the first place. But I know the truth, and that means everyone I know will find out about you.
Illustration by Ron Pitts